


Through the Looking Glass

by Storybookwriter



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Fuck Canon I Do What I Want, Gen, Major canon divergence, Spock will meld with anything that moves and that is a fact, and made this steaming pile of angst before you, but i didn't like the way it was turning out, but it will have a happy ending i swear, i wrote this notion a long time ago, new but not necessarily improved, so i got rid of the entire thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2020-07-09 23:57:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19896514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storybookwriter/pseuds/Storybookwriter
Summary: The telepathic link created by the Talosians brings Spock out and ground him to reality but leaves Michael brain-damaged and comatose as a result. Spock now has to establish telepathic links of his own through a series of mind melds to drag her consciousness to the surface but ends up delving deeper and deeper into Michael's memories; more than he thought possible. He is quick to learn, that nothing is as it appears to be.





	1. Or She Fell Very Slowly Part: 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a fic about the concept of Michael being cared for and Spock having to perform melds to drag her out of her own mind, but after two chapters and watching the season finale, I didn't like what I wrote. So now, I have the same concept but a different way to approach it.

The shuttlecraft of the U.S.S Discovery was on the move, much like the woman it contained. No time was allowed to be wasted, Michael had thought. Even on the journey to Talos IV, tasks had to be completed. Most of which surrounded her brother.

“One of the eleven planetary bodies, Talos IV, was a warp-capable M-Class planet with a thriving population.”

The computer fed her information as she ping-ponged between the two ends of the shuttlecraft, collecting the medical supplies that she knew how to use in hopes to make a sort of stimulant. 

“Until several thousand years ago, when nuclear war caused a near-extinction-level event. A small population of the indigenous species remains, possessing susceptive psychogenic abilities.”

Michael perked up at that. 

Psychogenic abilities. Perhaps that’s what Spock was trying to communicate to her. That these....people with strong psychic abilities had the ability to break Spock out of the dangers own mind and ground him back to reality. To bridge the gap between the reality of life and the reality that was occurring inside his own mind.

“Travel within the Talos system is prohibited by Starfleet.”

And much like many of her decisions of disobedience, the situation was far direr than any consequences that Starfleet could throw at her. A hiss emitted from the hypospray as she administered it to his neck.

“We’re approaching Talos IV,” Michael said to him. He offered no indication that she heard, but she continued nonetheless. “Whatever it is you’re looking for, I hope we find it.”

“Warning,” The computer chimed. “Approaching restricted space.” 

There was a sudden burst of light as they dropped out of warp and Michael’s dark eyes widened as an all-too-familiar spatial anomaly was the first to greet them in the restricted space. No. This would not do at all. The needed to leave right away. The computer alarms chimed once again.

“Warning, shuttle entering critical orbit. Correct course.”

Michael could feel anxiety flood her chest and rise to her throat as she jabbed the buttons of the panel.

“Computer, reverse starboard impulse engine and engage warp drive!” 

She was suddenly knocked to the side and into her chair, stunned momentarily by the sudden external force.

“Spock! It’s a black hole we’ll be crushed!” She shouted when she the gravity of their situation became clear.

She kicked him away, but with more life and force that she than she had seen in these past few days, he knocked her back again, pinning her to her seat with one hand and slammed the switch forward with the other. He was a marionette being controlled by invisible strings, driven by a primal urge to launch themselves into immediate death.

“Structural failure in five seconds,” 

There was nothing that she could do but sit there, with Spock’s hand firmly planted on her collarbone and stare as the black hole filled the screen and her vision.

“Four, three, two, one!”

And, like a shield penetrated, the black hole was reduced to particles (if there were even particles involved in the first place revealing a blue planet. There was a moment of utter stillness before Spock staggered back to his chair. 

She exhaled.

“Was that an illusion?”

Silence replied her.

“No, it was a test.”

Michael could almost swear that Spock had given her a side-glance.

“We’re really on the other side of the looking glass now, aren’t we?”

Michael turned her head as Spock released a little sigh and rested his head against the back of his chair.

~~

The sky of Talos IV was an interesting combination of blue-green, Michael observed as she pushed the shuttlecraft through the layers of the atmospheres of Talos IV; not quite what she was expecting but then again, it wasn’t the strangest thing she had seen since beginning her service to the Federation.

“Atmosphere: 18% oxygen, 75% nitrogen 4.6% carbon dioxide. Temperature: 24 degrees.”

Michael quickly shut down many of the shuttle’s unnecessary functions, pleased that neither life support nor an environmental suit were a necessity. 

“I need to take a look around.” She stated. “Will you be okay here?” She asked, although not expecting any form of reply.

She crossed the shuttle to the front and collected a phaser and set the setting to stun, as per Starfleet regulations.  
The metal of the shuttle doors groaned as they parted and raising her phaser, Michael slowly proceeded out of the shuttle. Perhaps the sky could be best described as a mint colour…

The clear Talosian sun bounced off the pond and off the pale stones that cluttered the terrain and took a moment to appreciate the beauty. She lowered her phaser when there appeared not to be in immediate danger but still remained on high alert, phaser held in front of her. She took a few more steps up the hill.  
She turned at an odd sound and saw plants, a beautiful blue and seemed to sing with the slight breeze that was present. She looked over both of her shoulders and, satisfied that there did not seem to be any native fauna that was posing any threat, to the exposed shuttle, she allowed herself to bend down and lightly touch the singing plants. They closed upon contact, but still continued their song. She smiled. She had turned back to the shuttle and noticed inconsistent movement amongst the rubble near the shuttle. 

Almost immediately, Michael launched herself down the hill and back towards the shuttle, keeping her balance as the loose rock gave way beneath her weight. The figure -- she was sure it was a figure -- did not seem to notice her at all and proceeded into the shuttle where her brother sat, strapped to his chair, defenseless. She cursed herself at her naivete for leaving Spock alone like that.

A blonde head and a grey back greeted her when she entered into the shuttle. If the figure -- a woman, was Michael’s assumption -- was aware of her presence, she did not acknowledge it. She charged the phaser and aimed it at the woman’s back.

“Turn around. Slowly.”

The woman just did that but there was no fear or surprise evident on her face but rather, smiled a strange smile.

“Who are you?”

An innocuous question asked in an innocuous tone. Michael bit down the bubbling indignation.

“Where I come from, the one holding the phaser asks the questions.

It was Michael’s turn to ask a question of her own.

“Are you Talosian?”

“No. Human. But a permanent resident.”

And then she turned back to Spock. Michael took a few steps forward and the shuttle doors hissed shut behind her.

“Spock?” She was a little above eye-level with him now. “It’s me. Vina."

Michael approached, phaser still raised.

“Don’t you recognize me?”

Vina (if Michael heard correctly) quickly turned to Michael once more.

“What’s happened to him?”

“Who are you?!” Michael could not keep the incredulity out of her voice.

“I’m an old…” A note of hesitancy in her voice. “Friend of Captain Christopher Pike. Is-is Chris --” She stopped to recollect her words. “Is he coming back as well?”

“Are you saying Captain Pike and Spock have been here before?”

“Well in some ways, Captain Pike never left.” Michael cocked an eyebrow. What kind of response was that? It seemed that more questions were being raised that answers were being produced. But Vina continued. “I was a crew member on a survey ship that crashed here when I was young. Long ago. The Talosians put me back together.”

There was an action that could closest be compared to a shrug.

“That’s the easiest way to explain it.”

Michael found herself sorely wanting to ask the most difficult way.

“I’m Commander Michael Burnham,” She said with a lack of anything else to say. Vina turned her head and tilted it upward to a corner of the shuttlecraft.

“They welcome you, Commander, and ask that you join them below the surface.”

“They’re speaking to you now?”

Were these apart of the telepathic abilities that the computer spoke of?

“Beam down with Spock so they can examine him.” She informed and Michael, jarred but the sudden shift of the conversation, tilted her head slightly.

“What do you mean, “examine”?”

Spock turned his head to face her ever-so-slightly.

“You brought us here because you knew the Talosians could help you. Have you been in communication with them?!”

Much to Michael’s own surprise, Spock;'s fist lightly struck the console response. So he was able to grasp what she was saying; more or less at least.

“They assure you, your shuttle will be safe here,” Vina said at last.

“Coordinates please!” Michael breathed. If Spock knew that they could help them, that there was a reason why he was desperate to violate Starfleet orders and entrench on restricted space...well what choice did she have left?

Vina said nothing but turned to the console and pressed the screen a couple of times Vina turned and began to walk to the shuttle door but did not proceed out. Michael left with her brother, unstrapped him from the chair and half carried, half dragged him to where Vina waited expectantly.

“Computer, two to beam down.”

Michael said it and she saw it. She specifically said “two to beam down” and she saw Vina’s solid figure as the transporter pad painlessly split her molecules apart. So, as Vina approached them as the transport was complete, Michael could not help but be taken aback.

“Vina? Are you real?”

And for the first time, Michael was convinced that Vina was nothing more than a testament to the psychic abilities of the Talosians themselves.

“She is very real,” A foreign voice washed into her mind and Michael’s gaze darted all over the darkened cave on instinct to find the source. And there, behind Vina, three aliens that were unlike Michael had ever seen, materialized. Vina turned her head in what Michael assumed was a kind-of greeting before stepping forward.

“We apologize for the difficulties entering into the atmosphere,” The voice vibrated as Vina collected some of Spock’s weight and directed Michael position him on something vaguely resembling a seat. Now, that Michael could really look around, she could see it was less of a cave and more of a shelter; a bunker, if you will. A result of the aforementioned nuclear war. “Material illusion is our primary form of defense.”

“I’m beginning to understand that,” Michael replied as she approached the Talosians with Vina, who stood side-ways between her and the Talosians. Michael held her hands behind her back.

“Do you only speak telepathically?”

The Talosians exchanged looks briefly and might have communicated amongst themselves telepathically. 

“We will converse in the ancient way if you prefer,” The leader replied, this time out loud.

“Can you tell me why, exactly,” She jerked her head towards Spock. “He risked our lives bringing us here?” 

There was a moment of silence as the three Talosians closed their eyes and tilted their heads forward.

“The Vulcan is experiencing time as a fluid rather than a linear construct,” The female Talosian had replied. “Conventional logic had not helped him interpret such an experience.”

Michael turned to her brother. Spock was hunched over, breathing both heavy and inconsistent.

“He knew that you’d be able to help him,” Michael concluded.

“He knew that conventional medical understanding would be useless,” The leader amended. “Should this variance continue, he will lose his mind, permanently.”

Michael could only shake her head and blink.

“What could have possibly changed his experience of time?”

“It is easier for us to show you his thoughts than explain. But,”

There was that cursed word; “but”.

“But we require something in return.”

“The memory of what happened between you and your brother on Vulcan,” The female Talosian supplied. Michael’s eyes went wide but her eyebrows had furrowed.

“We wish to view the entire conflict between the two of you during childhood,” The leader spoke again. “The defining experience. The wound you inflicted.”

From the corner of her eye, Michael could see Vina glancing at her uncertainly. 

“You want to experience our pain?” She demanded. “Why. For your entertainment?”

“This is how we understand,” The leader replied. “How we survive.”

“Survive another way!”

Michael crossed back to where Spock sat and had grabbed his arm to help him. Spock had in turn, seized her elbow and shook his head. She could not be sure but Michael swore that Spock was using what little focus he had to push a plead to her. 

“Your brother’s sanity will depend entirely on your cooperation,” The female Talosian spoke. Michael released Spock’s arm and began a deliberate walk back towards the Talosians. She was quickly interrupted by Vina, who had reached out her hand and lightly placed it on Michael’s own arm.

“It is better not to resist, Commander. They dive deeply into our minds. Our hopes, our memories, our fears,”  
She turned to face the Talosians.

“Even our dreams.”

Michael watched as the Talosians closed their eyes once again and Vina had seemingly dissolved in a thin strip of light. And then, in replace of the tall figure, a crooked woman was placed. Through the inconsistent light, she could see scar tissue cover her face and a deep scar running down the side of her face. Michael breathed out a soft “oh”.

“This is how they found me after the crash.”

Vina’s voice was now small, weak as if she were elderly talking about a long distant memory.

“They gave me the choice: To love the rest of my life as I am...or as I was.”

And in another thin strip of light, much like the first, the illusion of Vina was before her again.

“You see? They’re not unnecessarily cruel. And even though this may just be a projection,” She gestured to herself and picked up the pieces of her hair. “It feels as real as it looks.” She said, turning around as if she were modeling a new kind of fabric.

“To reorder your brother’s mind, we must disengage him from logic. But you must pay the price.”

“We may watch you,” The leader put in. “Relive your memory?”

Michael helplessly turned to look at Spock before she faced the Talosians shaking her head in disbelief.

“Yes,” She said. “But I need to see my brother’s mind.” She added quickly. “First.”

The Talosians looked amongst each other and then back at Michael. 

“Very well.”

Her vision suddenly grew blurry and a new one materialized before her; the image of the Vulcan chilly Vulcan moon shining down upon her as she watched herself deliberately leave the compound of the S’chn T’gai household. Michael would feel her throat close up.

“It began the night you ran away from our home,” Spock’s voice resonated through her mind. A flash of images and suddenly, she was watching herself running through the forests on Vulcan’s forge.

“Deep into the forests on Vulcan’s forge and its many dangers.”

Another flash of images.

Now Spock was in his room, peering up at a red glow. And there she saw it; The Red Angel in all of its mystical glory, hovering over the child Spock.

“I thought it was a dream; a premonition.

Michael found herself marveling at the detail in which she was seeing it in. If only --

She jerked as yet another flash of images filled her mind’s eye.

Michael was back in that forest watching herself as she ran.

“It showed me,”  
A tcha’be’she erupted from the ground and began charing after her. Michael could felt her heart pound inside of her as the creature strike her in the back and her younger self release one more final, desperate scream as she was snatched away. And then, the absolute terror that flooded her younger brother’s face.

“I told Mother and Father where I had seen you in the forest.” Spock’s voice told her.

And then, she was back, seeing herself as she fled from the tcha’be’she but this time, this version aligned itself with the memory she knew; where a bright line from the Heavens blinded her and scared the tcha’be’she back into the dark forest of its home.

“They found you,” Spock said as the all-too-familiar craft of Sarek’s shuttle descended. 

“The angel saved you. She changed your fate.”

Another flash of images and then she saw herself as she was now, in front of Spock’s console with his personal logs as she began her first attempts at tracking down her missing brother.

“Years later it appeared to me once again; another dream, another premonition.”  
She watched herself play the log and Spock’s voice came out, distorted.

“I now understand its meaning and where it must lead me.”

The terrain of a snowy planet was now laid out in front of her and Spock’s voice once more, resounded in her mind.

“It guided me to a remote planet and showed me the end.”

The Red Angel, much like the mycelial network of Discovery seemed to have leaped out of nowhere in front of Spock. Spock, who had been holding a device, presumably used to track the being, placed it back to the holster strapped at his waist. He raised his hands to meet where the Angel’s face was presumably at and pressed his fingers to it in what Michael could immediately identify as a Vulcan mindmeld.

“My mind to your mind,” He spoke, his voice muffled by his mask.  
Spock was suddenly replaced by Michael’s own and she heard herself say: “My thoughts to your thoughts,”

She felt as if she were speaking alongside to herself being generated by Spock’s influx of vision.

She was no longer looking at visions of the past but at visions which could have very well be the future. Squid-like probes launched ominous-looking devices. Michael’s eyes flooded with fire as planet after planet was decimated by these devices -- no, decimated by these weapons. Andor, Vulcan, Earth ...all destroyed and being reduced to dying balls of fire and rock.

And just like a poor quality recording, the visions were cut from her, leaving her dazed and disorientated in the bunker of the Talosians. She gasped. A strange pain had settled behind her eyes and she vaguely lifted a hand to her temple. Her vision tilted and brought her body down with it. She groaned as she felt the sharp edges dig into her back as she collapsed against the rock. She could do very little beside look up into the face of her brother. There was no longer the clouded confusion and vague fear. Those hazel eyes hardened as they fell upon her. Damning her. Condemning her. 

“Now. You see.”

Her body was now forcing rest but she was aware, even as her eyes roll back into her head and she fell into sweet nothing.


	2. Chapter 1: Or She Fell Very Slowly Part: 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael wakes up from the telepathic link and doesn't feel well. She proceeds nonetheless.

It was more of a realization that brought her to. She was a comforting sea of black where she had no rhyme or reason to do anything. It was nice, she thought --as well as one could think in a dream anyway -- that she did not need to be concerned with anything. She could just simply be; a mere speck of cosmic dust being pushed and pulled by the tides of the universe. And then came the realization; the realization that this could not last and that she had some urgent task at hand that no time could afford to be wasted. Consciousness reached down, grabbed her by the scruff of her collar and yanked her out of the pond of dreams and back into the cold ocean of the land of the awake. Into reality.

“Spock.”

He was no longer sitting on the stone-seat where he had been when she fell unconscious but leaning against the wall, a little way’s away. He had looked at her when she had spoken his name but turned away. She pushed herself to her feet and winced ever-so-slightly. The pain behind her eyes had not lifted with her impromptu nap but, it seemed to her, had worsened it. That was not the most pressing concern at the moment. Other, more pressing issues required instant tending. It only took a few steps for her to reach him. He turned back to her.

“You saw the Red Angel.”

“First as a child, then again a few months ago,” He replied coolly. 

“What is it? Who is it?”

“If I knew, we would not be here,” 

Michael noted the growing irritation that was already beginning to lace his voice.

“I was asking rhetorically,” She said, pushing her annoyance back to the pit of her stomach.

“Then at least ask something I have never asked of myself.”

She was not going to get anywhere which inquiries.

“Can we have a better version of this conversation?”

“Is there a valuable question in your arsenal?” Spock retorted.

“Yes, do you actually think the beard is working?”

Okay, Michael allowed herself to admit. She felt proud of herself for that one; especially when it silenced him for one, incredibly satisfying moment, to run his hand over it. It would have to be short-lived though; the destruction of the universe that she had seen in the telepathic link was still branded into her mind. Michael retreated a few steps and clapped her hands lightly awkwardly. This headache was not going away…

“The barren planets, Andoria, Earth.”

Another thought dawned upon her mind.

“Is the angel a time traveller?”

“The engineering comprehension necessary to build its suit would suggest so. And,” He seemed to have added this last part in the form of an afterthought. “And some of the memories it shared with me have yet to occur.”

Michael exhaled.

“There was no one left.”

“A possible future,” Spock supplied. “One that could well be determined by your actions. Yours and mind.”

“Yeah,” She breathed. The pain was a steady throb behind her eyes. “Yours and mine.”

The tension was stifling and the thick air combined with her headache, she was finding it difficult to concentrate. 

“Spock, there is so much that I --” 

“No.” He interrupted her. “I am not here to absolve you, Michael Burnham. This is not about your feelings.”

Michael regarded him with a gaze as steady as she could muster.

“Guess I’m a fool for taking that personally.”

“Agreed.”

She could not believe this. She was tired; way too tired to deal with this. She wished that there was a certain...mechanism of humanity would simply allow herself to turn herself; much like the Vulcan healing trance.

“I risked everything to bring you here,” She said deliberately.

“It does not surprise me that you see it that way, but it was I who brought you here to see what I have seen.”

“How does my seeing help you?”

“I required someone who had context of my timeline. Of me.”

“So you required family.”

“An interesting choice of words, coming from you,” Spock replied coldly.

Michael took a deep breath to cool the heat that had settled into her face.

“Shall we continue? There’s a great responsibility at hand.”

It was clear that Spock did not intend to communicate with her more than was necessary.

“To serve the needs of the many,”

She was less than “the few”.

“Talk.”

“An impermeable layer of energy surrounding the suit; a quantum field I was unable to infiltrate. Still, the thoughts I received from within it were human.”

“Human?” Michael could not keep the incredulity out of her voice.

“There was loneliness, desperation. You will need to see more.”

Michael inhaled and Spock turned to Vina and the Talosians behind her. Michael had nearly forgotten that they were there. Spock walked away from her and Michael took a shaky breath. Another telepathic link was not desirable especially with this headache... 

She was pulled from her thoughts when Vina rested a hand on her shoulder and ran it down her arm.

“Our hosts will attempt to safeguard your mind if you continue. But if you need to rest before --”

“No,” She said quickly. “I don’t. Show me.”

There was no desire to prolong this. She wanted this over with, headache be damned.  
She closed her eyes and felt the Talosians bridge the link between her mind and Spock and the pain spread from her eyes and up to her scalp.

~~

As the end result of a union between a Vulcan man and a human woman, Spock was not expected to one of the few to possess strong telepathic abilities. But even as his teachers were less inclined to give him the same amount of attention as the full-blooded pupils of the Learning Centre, there was no denying that he had exhibited telepathic prowess beyond that of a normal Vulcan child. It did not escape the notice of his father either. 

He had stronger telepathic abilities than Sarek, Spock recalled hearing from a specialist at one point. Something that was not expected, as Sarek was considered to be well-endowed in that area and the notion that the human blood would weaken any telepathic abilities that would be handed down from him.

How wrong they were in that regard. Spock did allow himself to think that very few besides himself would be able to properly break through the barrier of the Red Angel’s suit better than he did.

But now, those telepathic abilities were dormant, as the Talosians own psychogenic abilities overpowered his own; to bridge Michael Burnham and her inconsequential human brain to his own.

He was back in that white-padded cell of the psychiatric ward he had admitted himself, the large soft-tipped pen that they had allowed him to have (after passing an assessment that he wasn’t a danger to himself or the officers). He was on his hands and knees, vigorously scribbling down pictures and formulas to ground him and comprehend such visions and the influx of information that the Red Angel had deposited on his brain. Everything was as it was; as it should be except...except that he was developing a headache.

His cell suddenly filled with lights and the door hissed open, both of which aggravated this foreign pain in his head but had pushed it aside. Physical pain was not associated with this memory. A woman -- the head doctor of the psychiatric hospital, followed by two guards entered his cell, stepping over his work in the process. Much like that time, he found himself getting irked by that.

“Mr Spock,” The doctor greeted. The two guards had taken their places at each side of the door. From the corner of his eye, he could see her; Michael Burnham sitting on her knees, taking in the entire scene.

“There’s been an event. Signals in space seen across the galaxy.”

Spock had pushed crawled from all-fours to his knees to look at the doctor.

“The pattern is undeniably what you previously described.”

She took a few steps forward and went down on one knee, showing him her PADD.

“And what you are drawing here,” Looking at the PADD directly was hurting his eyes. 

“They’re real,” He concluded, as he had done when the past was present. “My vision wasn’t a hallucination.”

“ “Premonition” might be a more accurate word,” The doctor had replied. Spock glanced at the still figure at Michael Burnham, inside his cell, inside his mind.

“Then the images I saw in the mind-meld...these signals…”

“Somehow you reported them before they appeared,” She supplied. “What do you think they are?”

“I believe,” There was the hesitance he had spoken. “They represent an attempt to communicate,”

“By whom?”

A pause.

“Perhaps these signals have appeared before. Somewhere else?” She offered. “As a Starfleet science officer, you would have been exposed to a comprehensive historical --”

“History will not provide an answer to your query, Doctor,” Spock replied abruptly. “Instead, you should be asking me,” His voice was starting to betray the...uneasiness he was feeling. “How is it I can remember tomorrow?”

A very tense silence suffocated the padded cell, the headache throbbing behind his eyes and settled into his scalp

“It was a mistake to come here,” He reached behind him and put the pen down. “I must leave.”

When he got to his feet, the doctor followed suite. 

“Mr Spock,” She said in her monotonous tone. “Leaving would be premature. Section 31 officers are coming to transport you to a more specialized facility.”

“Section 31.” He repeated with a tone that was almost disbelief (or at least the closest version he could remember using).

“Your mind is in crisis.” She elaborated. “The Vulcan side of you requires time to heal.”

“You are correct; time most certainly has something to do with it.”

And then, like what he did all those weeks past, he shot forward and squeezed her shoulder. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as she dropped to the floor. And the two guards were immediately in action. He heard a phase loading but it was too late; Spock had thrown himself at the one to his right, squeezing the nerve in his shoulder as the other attempted to restrain him. When it was just one-on-one, Spock twisted his body around and nerve-pinched him. It was quick and painless, much like what the Vulcans did with fighting. He was glad for it. He was still in pain.

“What happened after that!” Michael Burnham demanded as soon as the last body struck the ground. “Section 31 thinks you killed these people.”  
Of course, Michael Burnham would say something like that; she had not changed since she was a child. He had no use for her empty questions and words without merit.

“I see your faith in my character has not changed since we were children. You are inside my mind, yet you still need confirmation.”

He cast a glance to the unconscious figures on the floor.

“Do you see murder here?” He asked in a louder voice. The door to his cell hissed open and he plunged into the darkness of his mind. It was only then that his headache finally stopped.

~~

Pike could scarcely believe what had happened; a brawl breaking out in the middle of the mess hall with the ship’s first officer, looking on, doing nothing. He had ordered Commander Saru to “take a walk” with him, which was usually Pike language (as Number One often put it) that a “talk” was in order. The two walked in silence for a few seconds and it was only until they were in a turbolift, did Pike break the silence.

“You allowed the fight to proceed?”

He had Commander Saru’s (exemplary) service record to fall back on and if nothing else, Commander Saru was a stickler for Starfleet regulations, and it was implied by Captain Georgiou that he often annoyed his coworkers as a result. Either it was his own influence or recent events (and perhaps, a combination of the two, he noted) seemed to have pushed him to act on his own whims more liberally. 

“Well, I believe the confrontation was a necessary and unavoidable catharsis. For both men,” Saru replied.

“But hardly an example of by-the-book conflict resolution.”

Saru scoffed in response.

“The Starfleet manual offers no “regulatory guidelines” for interactions between humans with Klingons grafted to their bones and a ship’s doctor returned from the dead.” 

It did not miss Pike’s attention that Saru said that last part more slowly and deliberately; more to accentuate the point of how increasingly ridiculous events seemed to happen to them than an attempt to be insubordinate. Or so Pike hoped.

The doors to the turbolift hissed open and both Captain and First officer exited. 

“Then, occasionally, we have to make it up as we go along,” Pike admitted.

“That is the situation in which we find ourselves, yes.”

“This is not intended with any judgment, Mr Saru, but I suspect that, before your own evolution,” He was now referring to the Saru that he had met and that was referenced in his file. “You might have made a different call?” They had stopped at a turn in the hall.

And Saru nodded

“Perhaps, Captain.”

“Given the unusual nature of our circumstances, I’m going to overlook the incident but this can’t happen again. And please,” He paused. “Make sure everyone’s aware we will not be settling our differences with violence, but with the uniform code of conduct.” And then, added for good measure. “That goes for you as well.”

Saru nodded once more. 

“Understood, Captain.”

“Good,” Pike replied in a kind of a whisper.

Pike proceeded down the hall and to his officer. with Saru still standing there.

He hadn’t done anything differently when he walked into his quarters, simply crossing to his chair and sitting down to begin paperwork that did not command the majority of his focus in recent weeks. There was a sudden shift in the air and holographic stars of a nearby star system seemed to be leaping out at him. He turned his head slightly to the left and jerked when he saw a pair of legs that most certainly were not there when he entered. The face of Vina was smiling at him.

“Vina!” He gasped.

His body weight had propelled his chair back when he had jumped to his feet.

“Vina,” He had tried to say her name again but it had come out as a breath. “H-how --”

“I’m not used to you being afraid of me,” She spoke in that soft voice that was characteristic of her in his memories. Her tone suggested that he had hurt her somehow.

“Used to me?” He parroted uselessly.

“It’s a lot to digest,” She answered. “There’s something I need to say,”

Pike instinctively took a couple of steps forward towards her as she began to speak.

“When you came to Talos, I’d been alone for so many years. I never imagined happiness or love.” 

Pike’s brows furrowed as he blinked, both in confusion.

“And when the Talosians decided we were... “unsuited” for each other. When you left,” Her voice was breaking in her throat. “It was worse. Because I knew what I’d lost.”

Pike drew closer still. 

“I thought about you -- us -- often... And I wish that you would have come with me,” He spoke. His brain was on autopilot and it felt that deep buried words were the keys to the emotions that were chained up within him were being released.

“Chris, I didn’t need to.” Vina took a step. “That’s what I’m trying to say. They brought you back to me. Not the real you,” She began to elaborate. “It’s illusionary of course -- but the part of you that lives inside me. We spent a lifetime together.”

“I’m glad --” Pike swallowed the lump that settled at the base of his throat and attempted to recollect his words. “I’m glad you’re not alone.”

“All this time you kept me sane; kept me tethered to -- to what I once felt.” She looked up and shook her head. “Even though I was never the person you thought I was.”

“You didn’t deceive anyone, Vina,” Pike replied. “I felt it too.” He felt himself slowly raising his hand and brushed his fingers up against a blonde curl. “But you’re here now.”

This time, both hands were raised and pressing against her face, running his thumbs across her skin. She reached up and pressed her hand over his.

“This is real.”

“As real as it needs to be. But,” Pike felt his heart drop from chest to stomach. “The Talosians’ ability to project illusions across space is limited. And the farther away you are, the harder it is to sustain.”

He nodded and his hands and Vina collected his hands and held them in her own.

“There’s someone you need to see.”

And she did not speak any further. Pike could see her glancing over his shoulder and he instinctively turned. 

His wall was replaced by an image of Michael Burnham standing in what appeared to be a cave with the Talosians behind her.

“Burnham,” 

He couldn’t help but wonder how long had that projection been there. Vina released her light grasp as he moved to the projection.

“You’re on Talos? Can you see me?”

“Yes, Captain,” She answered seemingly struggling to comprehend the extent of the Talosians psychic abilities but then turned to the matter at hand. “I found Spock. He directed us here so the Talosians could show me his mind.”

Pike sighed and closed his eyes. Despite Spock being one of his more...logical officers, it did not surprise him in the slightest that Spock has pulled something like that.

“The first thing I need to tell you,” Michael spoke, pulling him from his mind. “Is that Spock is innocent. There were no murders.” And then to explain the reason for the telepathic projection: “I didn’t want to communicate through subspace. Section 31 might have traced our transmission.”

“I know what happened. Georgiou reported that she tried to hail your shuttle while Spock was on board and you failed to respond.”

“I took Spock to Captain Leland and he tried to use invasive Terran technology to rip his mind apart!” 

That was the closest he had heard to Michael becoming enraged. Still….what did Michael say about Terran…? He’d have to question her about that when both she and Spock were on board Discovery safely. 

“But why? What do they want with Spock?”

And, much like that of ancient Earth urban legends, Spock appeared when his name had spoken from behind the Talosians and stopped when he was a slight distance behind Michael.

“My memories of the future.”

“Spock,” That too came out as a breath hanging on the breeze. It seemed to Pike that he could not get his voice to work the way he wanted it to today. “It is good to see you,” He said, this time, with the use of his vocal cords.

“Captain, I have seen the Red Angel and it revealed the final outcome of our current timeline. If we are to escape what awaits us, we must follow the Angel’s design.”

“What design?”

“Please?” Vina’s soft voice urged behind him.

“Captain, I --” Spock spoke again, this time more deliberately and with an uncharacteristic degree of hesitance. “Never believed I would ask this of anyone but I need you to take me on faith. You must come for us. Now, if you can.”

Michael turned her back to look at the Talosians as did Spock. Vina came beside him

“Chris, hurry,” Vina whispered. “We’re out of time.”'

The projection with Spock and Michael and the Talosians began to dissolve as Pike walked towards it. Vina grabbed his hand once again. 

“Hurry for your friends. They’re counting on you.” He turned back to the projection, to see his wall like it was before. And when he turned back, Vina had disappeared entirely, leaving him alone in the empty office.

~~

When they had transported to the surface, Spock did not regard her further, but rather almost bolted towards the open shuttlecraft. Michael remained outside, dreading the ride back with nothing but the company of the other. At least aboard Discovery, the distance that Spock craved from her would be easier to achieve. The star of the Talosian star system was piercing through her eyes and embedded itself deep into her skull. But it was preferable to being in there with at the present moment.

“Thank you. For helping Spock.”

She felt like she did all those years ago; the big sister speaking for her the shy little brother that often used her to hide himself from Vulcan gaze. “I’m pretty sure he would have died without your help.”

Her mouth dried up as she said that. Even the notion of losing her little brother in such an abrupt and violent way was…was... 

The only reply Vina gave was a turn of her head towards their Talosian hosts and then, back at Michael herself.

“Discovery will be here soon. There isn’t much time.”

Right. The payment. Her head hurt so bad but if she made it this far, through all of the traumatizing memories of the Red Angel and the story behind her brother’s status as a fugitive, she’d be able to do this....right?

“I owe them my memory.”

“You don’t want them to force payment,” Vina said and then shivered as if recounting from personal experience. “It’s awful.”

Michael wasn’t interested in being uncooperative. She just wanted this all to be over. For the chapter to end and for another, and hopefully happier one, to begin. 

“I’ve shown her all of the memories she needs to see.”

Heads turned and Spock was there, at the mouth of the shuttle, hands behind his back. Michael sighed softly, lowering her head.

“Yeah well,” She swallowed the stomach acid that was working hard to climb to her chest and up her oesophagus as Spock walked behind her. “Now you have to share one of mine. It’s the price I agreed to for your recovery.” She wondered if this damn headache was a price as well or was it more of an unforeseen cost.

Spock inhaled deeply in clear distaste but there was nothing that either of them could do apart save for complying and getting it over with.

She turned to face Spock fully and closed her eyes.

“Michael, wait.”

She inhaled sharply at hearing that voice, those tones of the wretched, cursed night all those years ago. 

“Michael, wait.” He called again and this time, it was she who was under the pale moon of Vulcan with the red lights of their…his home shining upon them. Michael could feel her panic of all those years ago. The panic that if she were to even look at him, that he would be killed right in front of her. After all, it wouldn’t have been the first time that would have happened to her.

“Where are you going?”

“Spock, I’m a danger to your family,” She tried to keep her voice as monotonous as possible, using the techniques that Sarek at taught her during her adaptation to Vulcan. She turned to him as he insisted it was “their family”.

“No!” He exclaimed as if that word alone could -- would stop her. Michael sorely wished it did.

“There are too many Vulcans who don’t want humans living here. Father knows the separatists aren’t gone. They’ll come back and attack your home.”

First her mother and father on Doctari Alpha, and now, her foster parents and brother who had taken it upon themselves to give a home and comfort when there was no other place for her to go save for a Federation-run orphanage. She was the common denominator. She was the one who had to leave.

“Our home!” Spock insisted once again stepping in front of Michael when she tried to walk away. Michael was looking down at a little boy, desperate to keep his big sister at his side. “We’ll fight them! Together!”

“It’s better this way,” Michael spoke. She was an adult now, and her voice was shaking. “You deserve to grow up somewhere safe.”  
“Safe is a relative construct!” He was mimicking words from Sarek now. “Safe has inconsistent meanings.”  
“Stop it!” She nearly begged. “I am going!” She said deliberately.

“Then I am going with you!”

It was then the very primal urge to keep Spock here, to keep him safe was the first and foremost priority. She needed to keep him here; keep him away from her destructive powers of just being. She -- she had to make him hate her…For...for his own good. She had to be hated. Despised so no one she loved could be allowed to be killed again.

“I don’t want you with me,” 

Her voice was peaking with tears. She could not say it in the cold, calculating tone she had intended. “Don’t you understand that?”

“You are my sister!”

That distorted voice repeated that sentence back to her and thrust itself through her ear canal and into her head. She could not gasp; it was apart of the memory. A full-grown Spock stood before her now as he recited the words he spoke to her as a child.

“You -- you are helping the human part of me learn to express --”

“The human part of you is so small, it won’t make a difference in your life!” She said quickly.

She could feel her tongue sharpening every word to kill. Her mouth moving along to the words that had branded to both of their memories. A hot spear pierced her temple but she continued. She had a deal to fulfil.

“Why can’t you get that through your head? I don’t want a freak like you as a brother!” Her childhood voice rang loud and clear; it was a wonder that neither Amanda nor Sarek could hear her during the time it actually occurred.  


“I love you.” She could only see confusion, sadness, and pain now. All of which she inflicted. She caused. More spears of white-hot pain pierced her scalp, into her eyes.

“Love? You’re not capable of love!”

“I am!” Adult Spock shouted.

“No, you are not!” She was herself, an adult again. “You are Vulcan! And you will always be cold and distant! Like a moon somewhere!”

Her pain was coming in waves now. Her throat tightened as she could feel the approach of bile. No….! She couldn’t….! Her breath got caught in her chest and she coughed a cough that forced her over.

“You’re not worth my effort!” She forced out.

She could not see Spock’s expression, especially as the images alternated between him as he is and him as he was so frequently.

She pushed herself up straight and bolted around him. 

“But you promised you would teach me the way of Earth!” Spock’s voice rang behind her. The memory was continuing. “That maybe we could live there one day!”  


“Don’t you get it?!” Another wave of pain and another horrid cough. “I don’t want you in my life!”

She fell, her knees colliding with the rocky terrain of reality, clutching her head.  


Breathe, she told herself. It will all be over soon.

She attempted to push herself to her feet barely managing to stagger away from Spock and against the shuttle pod. The last part of that memory was forced from her mind, and the telepathic bridge, a hot brazier, cut clean through her skull and into her hippocampus. Her vision filled with that house on Vulcan and she was forced to repeating that damning sentence a second time.

“Stop following me you, weird little half-breed!”

The stomach acid that she had fought to keep down rushed up to her chest and pushed up into her oesophagus. It was all she could do to turn her back to Spock as bile erupted from her mouth and onto the cool terrain of the rubble of long-destroyed buildings. Even if she could, she would not look at him. Even breathing was too much of a chore. The pain dulled into a lead weight to her eyes. There was nothing that she could do as she felt rocks pierce the muscles of her arm through her jacket as she fell and the weight of invisible heaviness forced her eyes shut. No pain, no fear, no shame. Just. Nothing.


	3. Down the Rabbit Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a great deal of thought is put in on what is wrong with Michael Burnham.

_Personal Log of Doctor T’Mirek as was recorded: ___

___The numbers of those admitted to the Shi’Kahr Medical centre were lower than average, much to the interest of myself and my staff. But even today was not without its share of events. We had what might be considered a high profile case; the afamed Ambassador Sarek and his esteemed wife T’sai Amanda. The patient seemed to have been experiencing shortness of breath and pain in his lower right quadrant before he was admitted to the Shi Kahr medical centre at 15:03 Vulcan Standard time. The symptoms seem to have suggested a cardiac event, uncommon in a Vulcan who has, otherwise, no medical history of any cardiac episodes prior to today. _____

_____As a Vulcan, I do not consider that a supernatural force is behind this but it does seem that...interesting events seem to afflict Ambassador Sarek more frequently than the average person. _____ _ _

_______The T’sai Amanda seemed to have been on high alert, reacting to even the slightest movement and noise. I akin it the sudden onset of the card. I am not an expert on human behaviour, nor do I pretend to be. _____ _ _ _ _

_________The results of the test seem to suggest that there was a narrowing of the major arteries, often associated with coronary artery disease but both the Ambassador and his wife that there was no presentation the symptoms associated with it. More unusual still, when we ran the tests again, there did not seem to be any indication of the narrowing of the arteries that he had arrived with, save for the damage that the cardiac episode caused. The damage is not severe enough to warrant surgery but enough that requires a watchful eye and a prescription to prevent something of the like from occurring again. It is likely that the Ambassador will require surgery for his condition when he advances in years but there is still some possibility that the condition will heal itself if no other incident triggers it. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________I am not in habit to speculate but I have convinced myself that there is something that neither the Ambassador nor his wife are sharing. Vulcans do not lie either by speaking nor by omission and it is illogical that they would hide something that could benefit his health. There would be no viable reason to do so. And yet even when I informed them that they could return to their home, T’sai Amanda seemed to have been falsifying a smile. Again, I do not consider myself an expert on human behaviour but I expected that she would exhibit some form of happiness that is consistent with humans upon hearing good news. Later, in the evening, I was informed by one of my peers that while the Ambassador appeared to be no different in appearance than when he entered into our facility, his wife was crying beside him. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Had it been his choice, he would have left Talos as soon as they were on the surface. Of course; nothing as simple as that could be allowed to happen. As he worked on setting the shuttle up for liftoff, he attuned his Vulcan hearing to the conversation that Michael and Vina were having; her thanking Vina for helping him and saying that he could have died if they did not help them. An astute observation, Spock thought flatly. And then their conversation dropped past hearing and he pretended not to be curious about the subject that would have triggered such a reaction._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________When he felt a sufficient amount of time had passed, he manoeuvred himself to the mouth of the shuttle just in time to hear: “It’s awful.” He did not know the context of this line and at the time, he felt it didn’t matter enough to know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’ve shown her all of the memories she needs to see,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________A sort of statement to tell Michael there was no reason for them to dwell on this planet further._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yeah, well,” Her eyes were tired but not without emotion of their own. “Now you have to share one of mine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He instantly knew which memory and he inhaled deeply, without intention._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s the price I paid for your recovery.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And she did not say anything further and he wordlessly faced her, focusing on each other and that memory as the Talosians proved deep into their minds and drew it out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________That foreign headache had resurfaced with a vengeance as well as a sudden onset nausea. He would have almost been certain it would have been something he ate had he actually eaten anything and had it been gradual. It did not miss his notice that Michael Burnham appeared to be experiencing similar symptoms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Like much of how he often regarded his family, Spock attempted to detach himself, both from the physical and emotional pain that seemed to lace these telepathic links. Each word spoken felt like spears, heated by the Vulcan sun were ploughing through the memory and into his mind, his brain. Michael was visibly faltering but had pushed herself to continue._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________His chest tightened considerably and suddenly, Michael was doubled over, coughing; a cough that consumed all air in her lungs and rattled her ribcage as she expelled it. It wasn't his he was experiencing, he suddenly realized, it was her pain. The manifestation of Michael Burnham's pain was spilling over to him through the bridge. The Talosians would collect their due and thus, the memory continued._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Michael's image was alternating between the girl that said the cruelest things to him to the perspiring and shaking before him. She was obviously ill; either caused by the telepathic link or by a foreign pathogen. But as a Starfleet officer, he would...encourage her that visiting _Discovery's _sickbay should be her top priority. For the sake of everyone involved if it turned out to be a pathogen.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The memory suddenly phased out and for a second, they were back on Talos. Michael was attempting to stagger away, blindly towards the shuttlepod and she very audibly gasped when they were forced back to their house._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And then he heard it again. That condemning sentence that would forever alter the course of his life. Almost as soon as she repeated those words, the memory glitched and abruptly ended. All of the pain that had spilt into him during the link was torn off of him, leaving him dazed under the Talosian sun._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Michael was leaning her full weight against the shuttle. With a single heave, bile and what he assumed was her last meal spewed from her mouth and splattered against the ground and the sides of the shuttle. Spock scrunched his nose. There was a soft thud as she collapsed against the side of the shuttle and then the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Spock did not react immediately, half expecting Michael Burnham would push herself back up to assure him that she was alright. No such thing happened and Spock was left, hovering over her cautiously. He lightly touched her shoulder. Vina ghostly figure hung in the background anxiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Michael?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________A shake._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Michael!” He said, much louder this time. He rolled her onto her back. Michael’s eyelids did not even so much as flutter in response._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“The mental strain has proven to be too much for her,” The female Talosian said simply. Spock pressed his fingers to her neck, probing for a pulse. He turned to face the Talosians._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“What did you do to her.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Nothing that we did not warn her of,” The leader responded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You should be grateful that your sister was willing to sacrifice the use of her mind to ground you to reality,” The female added._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Vina looked guilty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“And you are willing to take her life as payment.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Not her life,” The female Talosian responded. "Her memory."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“A telepathic link is not without its consequences,” The leader supplied. “We warned her that she would pay the price and she proceeded. We safeguarded her mind as best as we could.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The leader nodded towards the sky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Look, we see that the Discovery as well as the ship of your captors coming for you and your sister.”  
“We will project you and your sister’s form on the ship while you are able to flee,” The other male added._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He wanted to yell at them, demand that they reverse whatever damage that they caused her mind when they bridged her consciousness to his._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Vina touched his shoulder, conveying sympathy through her eyes, which (thankfully), neither his attitude nor his species obliged him to return._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I am truly sorry about your sister,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Spock said nothing as he draped Michael’s arm around his neck and adjusted her dead weight in his arms. Her head lolled back and her other arm dropped to her side. Had it not been for the warmth of her skin and the ever-so-slight way her chest rose and fell, he would have taken her for dead. He was efficient in strapping her to her chair and launching themselves into the planet’s atmosphere before he felt the Section 31 transporter cling to their DNA._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“The Section 31 ship is hailing sir!” A young officer by the name of “Bryce” informed from behind him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________A wave of shock washed over the crew and he could feel several pairs of eyes falling on him. Keyla Detmer had turned her head to shared a look that suggested she was trying to figure out how this could be._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Tyler’s confined,” He said, stating the collectively shared thought of the crew. “They didn’t find out through him. Answer him Bryce,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The screen flickered and Leland stood, visible from the knees up and two unknowns bordering the sides of the screen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I know where you’re going Pike,” Leland’s hands were on his hips. “Cut your engines immediately, that’s an order.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I’ll start following orders when you start telling the truth,” Pike replied tersely. “Or did you not think that I’d find out what you were going to do to Spock.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Last warning Chris,” Leland said. “Stand down.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Leland turned as the screen flicked off and a tense silence fell over the crew._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Detmer, drop us in over Talos IV,” Pike ordered. “Owo, the second we’re in range start scanning for our people.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Detmer, as instructed, dropped warp over Talos IV._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I’ve got them sir!” Owo exclaimed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Beam them up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Copy that sir, achieving lock and...beaming now!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Sir, Section 31 has a lock on Burnham and Spock as well,” Tilly informed with a sense of urgency evident in her voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Leland again sir,” Bryce informed again.  
“Put him on.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________This time, Pike pushed himself from his chair and towards the viewscreen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Pike disengage your transporter beam, immediately!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I can’t do that,” Pike responded, fighting to keep his voice as levelled as he could._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“If one of us doesn’t let go, Burnham and Spock will be ripped apart atom by atom. Is that what you want, because that’s exactly what’s going to happen if you don’t disengage your transporter beam.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________That was not the voice of the cold, calculating Leland he was encountered with only second ago but with the urgency of a man who was, figuratively speaking, being backed into a corner. If he would hold out for just a little longer, Section 31 would release their grip on his people and Spock and Michael would be back in their midst, safe and sound._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Mute screen.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“What do I do sir.” Owosekun asked. It seemed as if time had stopped and he could feel each millisecond pound against his back. Beads of perspiration rolled down his neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Captain!” Owosekun urged once again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And then, a familiar presence was behind him and he could feel Vena’s lithe hand on his shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Let your friends go. It’s the only way. Let them go. Let us all go. Trust me.” Her voice was a little above a whisper yet was urging._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Goodbye Vena.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Vena's image dissipated on a breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Owo, disengage transporter.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The aforementioned turned in her seat to give him a look of utter disbelief while he could hear Ensign Tilly’s heavy inhalations from behind him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yes sir.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He did not miss the finality in Owosekun’s tone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He was not there, Spock realized, but he had a full view of the ship. It was more or less participating in a holographic transmission. It was unlike any other ship he served on, mostly consisting of dark uniforms and technology alike. Several guards were surrounding in the aforementioned black leather uniforms and had instantly drawn their phasers. Vulcans were not in the habit of "betting" but his Starfleet training taught him to always assume that an enemy's phaser was set to "kill" for the sake of safety._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Do not move!” An unknown shouted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The telepathic effigy of Michael Burnham stood beside him on the Section 31 ship in all of her regal glory. For a second, the illusion tricked him into believing that she was back on the shuttle, awake and well beside him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You did the right thing,” Leland said to the image of what he presumed was the crew of Discovery. “That will be noted in my after-action report. Now,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________His tone had turned much more severe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You and your crew will report to Starbase 11 and await disciplinary action. Leland out!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And the screen flickered off, cutting Spock off from his captain a second time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You look exceptionally pleased with yourself,” The woman that had been appraising him and Michael Burnham (particularly Michael Burnham,) with interest during the time that the Captain -- Leland -- was exchanging words with Captain Pike spoke as he descended down one of the staircases._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Aren’t you surprised that Pike gave up so easily?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Thank you for your insight,” Leland responded though he himself did not sound the least bit pleased on having received it. “Now this, time, I do the talking.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Captain Leland turned to his heels and crossed to where Spock and the telepathic likeness of Michael Burnham stood beside him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Welcome back Commander,” The Section 31 Captain was addressing Michael, none the wiser to their little scheme._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“What were you doing on Talos? This will go easier if you answer me. Or,” He turned to look at Spock. “It can go harder.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“ _I beg to differ.”__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Michael Burnham’s voice rang clear. And then she turned to him and gave him a rather wry smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________“Say goodbye, Spock.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________He held those dark eyes for several more seconds before turning back and situating his fingers into the Vulcan salute._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________“Goodbye, Spock.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________And then he was back on the shuttle, being taken in on Discovery. Michael was in her chair beside him, slumped forward against her harness, asleep. At least on surface view. He landed the shuttle and then worked on undoing Michael’s straps, not missing at the irony of the roles now reversed. The doors of the shuttlepod hissed open as the crew of Discovery watched as Spock scooped up their unconscious commander into his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Having Spock return, in Pike’s mind, would be a cause for celebration. At least, allow a sensation of relief to wash over him when Spock’s wellbeing was no longer looming over him like a cold shadow. And for those few minutes of _Discovery's _shuttle descending in the shuttlebay, it did. And thee only a single pair of footsteps approached the mouth of the shuttle and an all-new wave of anxiety crashed over him. His eyes alighted on what he sincerely hoped was the unconscious figure of Commander Burnham in her brother’s arms. Pike blinked, not immediately processing the scene before him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Spock?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________His face was as grim as Pike could imagine a Vulcan would allow himself to get. Michael was slumped against Spock’s chest, unresponsive to the activity around the shuttlebay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Something went very wrong. We need to get her to sickbay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________And that was all that he would say and that was all Pike needed to hear. He cursed not having a stretcher readily available for use but he could not dwell on that now; right now his primary concern was the disheveled character vaguely resembling the Lieutenant he met and come to know and the Commander flopped about like a ragdoll. Crewmen working around the shuttlebay had stopped to stare, exchanging looks and whispering amongst themselves._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Out of the way!” He shouted as soon as his was able to form words. “We have a medical emergency!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________People had parted like the red sea when Pike stepped in front of Spock and lead him to sickbay. He didn’t dare turn back, only intently listening to the rhythm of Spock’s footsteps against the metal floor. Time was a pot of molasses on a cold day._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“What happened!” Doctor Pollard had demanded as Spock manoeuvred Michael’s body through the opening sickbay doors. A nurse directed him to prepared biobed. Michael’s head flopped lifelessly to the side as the biobed began to respond to her vitals._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Accident,” Pike found himself answering for Spock. “Something happened on Talos IV.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Vitals are faint but steady!” She announced as she began pushing hypospray after hypospray into Michael’s neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“There’s damage to her hippocampus!” The nurse who had directed Spock to lay Michael down announced. She had a medical tricorder hovering several inches away from her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“How bad?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Undetermined!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Any evidence of blunt-force trauma?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Negative Doctor, there does not appear to be any wounds on her person.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Nor would there be,” Spock replied. “The damage caused to her was...telepathic in origin.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________This time, Doctor Pollard stopped and looked at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Telepathic?” She parrotted in almost disbelief._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“The residents of Talos IV have…heightened telepathic abilities,” Pike supplied, resting his hand on Spock’s shoulder. “They bonded Spock and Michael together to bring Spock out of his stupor.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“We had to relive our memories.” Spock added. “In order to ground myself back to reality.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Well that certainly explains the damage to her hippocampus,” She said putting the tricorder down and replacing it with another too that (hopefully, Pike found himself thinking), was the tool necessary to repair Commander Burnham’s brain-damage._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Michael?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________A new voice penetrated the bustle of sickbay and both men instinctively turned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________And Ensign Tilly, with her bounded red hair, bolted towards the biobed and past Spock, grabbing Michael’s hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Ensign,” Pollard said steadily. “This is not a good time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“What happened to her!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________There seemed to be a great deal of that question going about. In the short period of time he knew Ensign Tilly, he had gotten the impression that she was a dedicated (albeit if a bit scattered) officer who had a dominating tendency to ramble. She never showed this much conviction unless….unless her friends or the ship were in immediate danger. He’d have to get Spock in a quiet space so he could get the entire story from start to finish, as opposed to having it forced out of him during the stress of watching his sister being hooked up to machinery and adjusting himself to a new environment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Ensign Tilly’s eyes alighted on Spock._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“W-Who are you…? Did you cause this??”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Ensign,” Pike spoke, putting a hand on the woman’s arm.”I can assure you that everyone is doing everything in their power to heal Commander Burnham. Assigning blame won’t change that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“But she was fine when she left for Vulcan!” Tilly’s voice rose. “She was walking and talking and laughing and now --!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________She squeezed Michael’s limp hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“She’s…she’s…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“She’s going to be alright,” Pike said. “If Commander Burnham is known for anything, it’s for her resiliency.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________It did not surprise Michael that she was alone when she woke up. What surprised her was that there was no one. She knew for a fact that at least three nurses were available, prepared for anything to happen at any occasion (Pollard had teased her in saying that the 3 nurses were there to keep her in sickbay). She pushed herself up to a sitting position and glanced around. Nothing. No one was actually the more appropriate word. Everything appeared to be in the right order and location. She slipped off the biobed, flinching at the cold metal against her bare feet and turned at the lack of alarm sounding at the sudden lack of her bio-signs.  
The biobed was off. Stretching out her hand, she pressed a button. Nothing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Curious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Michael could feel her feet adjust to the cool metal floor and wandered to the next biobed and tried to turn it on. Nothing. Curious. The lights were on so that meant that at least some of the devices were working…right?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________She crossed the sickbay and to the panel of buttons on the wall and jabbed at them. The lights refused to turn off. She pressed them a second time. Third time. Nothing. What was going on?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________The Bridge. Surely someone would be on the Bridge. She pressed the red button below the blue._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Burnham to the Bridge. Come in.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________She did not know what she was expecting but there was nothing in response. Not even static. She jabbed the button again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Bridge, this is Michael Burnham, come in.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Hell, she was even willing to put up with Spock’s brooding behaviour if it meant an explanation for whatever the Hell was going on. She approached the door and it hissed open. Well, at least the doors were still functioning, even if it appeared nothing was working._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Sarek was back in their living space, having retreated once more in deep meditation, this time, in an attempt to locate their daughter. Well, it wasn’t much of an attempt to locate her; that part was easy. Trying to reach to her, to connect to her, however, was proving to be more tedious than either of them could have ever predicted. The doctor had made it clear that Sarek should avoid doing anything too strenuous when he was discharged from the Medical Centre but, forgoing the prescription, had plunged himself into another series of deep meditations. Michael was most definitely alive but he had yet to connect with his katra inside of her to infiltrate the crevasses of her mind. Mental walls had been erected inside of her mind and no one, it appeared, was allowed in, or out. He was in meditation still, trying to break down these layers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Amanda Greyson fidgeted with her robes as the picture of her son that was in his Starfleet profile pulsated on the screen a few times exhaled a breath she did not know she was holding when the screen was filled with him. His appearance did not change from the time she took care of him in the Vulcan cave but his eyes were sharp; alert._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Spock!” She blinked back unshed tears. “You’re alright!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“I am, mother.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“I am so relieved that you are alright. Your father and I have thought of nothing else but the welfare of our children since you left.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________She had purposefully used the pluralized version of “child”. She didn’t need Spock to tell her that something went horribly wrong in the process to regain his sanity. She felt it. Or rather, Sarek did and the damage was severe enough that it left him hospitalized. Her telling her son that would lead to many more unnecessary discussions that it would do him poorly to occupy himself with; especially if the situation at hand was any indication._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Is…Michael with you?” She asked, glancing to both sides of her son._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“She’s...occupied at the moment.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Aaaahhh...there was that note of hesitance in Spock’s voice. Something was wrong, but Spock seemed unwilling to share it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Spock,” She tried again. “I do not know what occurred between you and your sister, but….” She swallowed. “Take good care of your sister. I know for a fact she’d do the same for you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________She _has _done much for Spock, Amanda had thought. That much and more. Their last interaction in Discovery before she left loomed over her. The anger that Michael could do an unspeakable cruelty to her son had now dissolved into a profound regret that she did not attempt any sort of resolution of that conversation___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________And Spock shifted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“I...will, Mother.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________And Amanda nodded. She loved her children and she trusted that Spock would take care of his sister, if not only as her brother then at least as a Starfleet officer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________There was no change Michael’s state during the passing hours, which slowly inched to days. Each passing day in which Pollard did not announce that Michael was awake was resulting in growing stress amongst the crew, her closest friends in particular. Tilly hung around her bedside like a lonely ghost retelling the same stories over and over and had read her daily reports of the ship's banal activities. None of it seemed to have triggered any kind of reaction, her face still settled in that peaceful expression when she had first passed out. By the time the third day had begun, Doctor Pollard was digging through the Federation database for any indication what was keeping Michael Burnham from waking up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“I don’t understand it…” Pollard said when Pike had come in to get an update on his “She’s healthy in every single way, but she’s not waking up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“What do you mean?” Pike’s brows were furrowed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Just that,” She replied. “All of her vitals are normal. I’ve repaired the damage to her brain. She’s breathing without assistance and there’s no evidence of injury anywhere else. She’s…just not waking up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Have you tried waking her up?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“I’ve used every stimulating medication available including a few questionable combinations. Nothing appears to be working.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________A moment of silence hung between them as Pollard provided a PADD._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“There seems to be an unusual amount of brain activity for a comatose patient though,” Pollard offered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Now that caught Pike’s attention._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“W-what does that mean?” He shook his head. “Is she dreaming?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Not even dreams will result in as much brain activity,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________She exhaled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“I always prefer that there would be a scientific explanation for scenarios like these, but there isn’t exactly a mass collection of data of telepathic bridges created three-ways for three different species. I have to entertain the possibility that her current state has something to do with the telepathic bond that the Talosians induced.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________She sighed and rubbed her forehead.  
“Then I supposed you should join me in the chat that I’m going to have with the Lieutenant.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Spock found himself straightening his posture as he stood in front of Captain Pike’s office on Discovery. It wasn’t like the office he was used to seeing on Enterprise, nor, for that matter, was it in the same location. He felt like he did the first time he landed on Earth to attend Starfleet Academy. Alienated and slightly disorientated. He pressed the chime._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Come in,” He heard Captain Pike’s voice, slightly muffled, answer from the other end of the door. The doors hissed as they parted before him. He stopped as he saw one more person than he was initially expecting; the doctor he saw take over Michael’s care when he first brought her to sickbay -- Pollard if he recalled correctly. His gaze rested on her before he turned to address the Captain._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Captain?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Sit down Spock,” The captain said, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. Spock cast a mistrustful glance to the chair and then to the doctor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“I would prefer to stand, Captain,” Spock replied. Bad situations were always guarantee when you are requested to sit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Spock, there’s no easy way to say this but --” He pushed himself to his feet. “Your sister is in a coma.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Spock’s head slowly slightly, face as impassive as ever. Pollard took this as an opportunity to elaborate._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“We’ve repaired the physical damage to her hippocampus and there is no physical damage evident on any part of her body.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________She handed Spock a PADD._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“By all accounts, she should be up and about.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“What are you implying?” Spock finally asked after reading._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Well, you had mentioned that you and your sister had undergone a telepathic bonding courtesy of the Talosians to help regain your footing in reality correct?” Pike asked, cocking an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Spock nodded slowly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“I want you to repeat everything that you are aware of what happened. Anything that you could share about what happened during those bonds might bring us one step closer to awaking Commander Burnham.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“For the majority of the time, I was not in a stable frame of mind,” He replied tersely._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“We’re aware of that,” Pike replied, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Just tell us what you were aware of. That will be enough.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Spock glanced between the doctor -- Pollard -- and Captain Pike._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“We had to relive a select few of my memories,” He stated. “She was in my mind, I was in hers.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Pollard gave raised both eyebrows in, what appeared to Spock, to be in response to his inadequate explanation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Did you notice anything...odd? Was she behaving in a certain way that was a bit out of character for her?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“She passed out after the first telepathic link but that is natural. Human brains do not have the stamina for telepathic interactions as Vulcan or even Talosian brains do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Pollard quickly tapped her PADD and Pike crossed his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“How long was she out for?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Keeping track of the time was not the foremost issue that I was occupied with.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Then estimate for us then,” Pollard said, her voice laced with annoyance. And Spock inhaled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“I estimate it was about a minute and fifteen seconds.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Some estimation,” Pollard was heard muttering. “What about the meld? Did you notice anything else?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Spock’s brows had furrowed and both Pollard and Pike held his gaze expectantly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“There was this...headache.” He no longer sounded like the vaguely sarcastic young man that had entered into the room. “I kept experiencing this headache after the first meld and it would begin when the meld began and end when the meld ended. It was considerably worse during the payment of Michael Burnham’s memory.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“And you continued despite this headache,” Pollard said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“We had very little choice in the matter,” Spock said regaining his chilly composure. “The Talosians are not known to be generous with their payments.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Pike’s eyes dropped to the ground and back up at his Lieutenant._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“What happened during this _payment _?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Neither doctor nor captain missed the hesitance as Spock began._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“The headache came back and it was quite worse. I did not think much of it but Michael, she --” He paused to regain his wording. “Commander Burnham appeared to be experiencing that same pain. We were phasing in and out of her memory and before she passed out, they snatched the memory out. My pain was suddenly gone and Michael Burnham proceeded to regurgitate bile before passing out.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Pollard and Pike blinked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“But this time, she didn’t wake up,” Pike concluded after a pause._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________And Spock nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________There was a suffocating moment of silence as Pollard, seemingly finished taking her notes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Thank you, Mr Spock, this has proven to be more than enlightening. Now, if you excuse me, I must return to sickbay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Saru found himself clutching to the tattered copy of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”; enough that his knuckles had turned white in the process. He immediately checked himself and released his grip. The book did not appear to be more damaged than years of reading that not already accomplished. He shifted the book to his left hand and rubbed imaginary dust away from his pant-leg with his right. He had been on edge for the past few days and he suspected that if he still possessed his threat ganglia, they’d be reacting regardless of the presence of a threat. While the shedding of his threat ganglia certainly allowed him to be more bold in his decision-making, his general suspicion of new situations and cautiousness of new people did not diminish. That, he concluded, was simply an aspect of his personality that he would need to work around. Take the Vulcan for example -- Spock if he was not mistaken. Saru had not the opportunity to really speak with the man, but there was something about him that made Saru a bit wary. Saru himself did not know exactly what about him made him on edge but if Pike and Michael were willing to sacrifice a great deal to retrieve him…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Saru shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________That mindset would not do. He’d have to get himself to trust Spock as much as Pike seemed to trust Saru during their first mission together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________He entered through the sickbay doors and stopped. The way that Michael appeared, she might as well have been asleep; not at all at his interpretation of what a comatose patient should look like. He hated to admit it but she looked much more peaceful than she had ever appeared awake; even before the expedition of the Klingon war, Michael Burnham was alert of every shift, figuratively and literally. He did not consider how exhausting this must have been for her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________A chair was already provided available. Tilly, he assumed, had been there but had probably been pulled back of her post. He crossed to the chair, doing his best to ignore the stares of the attending nurse and lightly placed himself at the edge of it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________He had a plan; read to Michael. He read there were instances where comatose patients could hear the voices of those around him and he thought that if anything, the reading of her favourite childhood fairytale might provide some comfort._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Michael,” He began. “Michael it’s me. Saru.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________No reaction._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“I apologize I have not been here to see you. This is the first time that I’ve been able to get off from my post. I do hope that you won’t hold it against me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________He reached down and slipped her limp hand into his._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“I...bought you your favourite book; Alice in Wonderland. You told me how much you enjoyed it when your foster mom read it to you and your brother so maybe...maybe it will provide you some comfort during all of this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________He flipped to the front of the cover and turned the first, crumpled page._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Chapter 1: --”  
Saru instinctively turned as the doors hissed open and he saw the Captain as well as the Vulcan walk through the doors._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Pike glanced at the PADD in his hand and then and back up at Spock.  
“A mind meld?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“A telepathic bond that Vulcans are able to perform to know the mind and emotions of the other,” Spock replied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Wasn’t it a telepathic bond that caused this in the first place?” Pike asked, cocking an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Saru had turned and stood but neither appeared to have noticed him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“That was a third-party telepathic bond,” Spock said. “This would be established and performed by myself. And you are well aware that the Talosians aren’t exactly known for their...subtlety.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Lieutenant Spock, this is the First Officer of Discovery, Commander Saru.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Both nodded curtly at each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Captain,” Saru said, turning to Pike. “Vulcan mind melds are a risky procedure; there’s no guarantee that the Lieutenant would escape unscathed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“That is a risk I am willing to take,” Spock said, straightening his position. “Modern medicine has failed us and we are not in a position where we can return to Talos IV. The only logical option is myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“And what exactly do you hope to accomplish?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Spock glanced at Doctor Pollard and back at Pike._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________"To manually retrieve her consciousness and bring it back to the surface."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Pike turned to Doctor Pollard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“We are at a loss; I went as far as treating her for Locked-In syndrome but with no results. As unusual as this sounds..." She glanced up at Spock. "Perhaps her Vulcan upbringing might have something to do with this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“You think Commander Burnham is utilizing a Vulcan technique to keep herself in her own mind?” Pike questioned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Michael Burnham is human and humans do not possess any psychic powers beyond the scope of humanity.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“The human brain is more mysterious than you are lead to believe, Mr Spock,” Pollard said. “I’ve met a few humans with interesting psychic abilities back in my day.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Those humans are outliers and should not be included,” Spock replied and Pike directed a smile to the ground. “If there is a reason that she is not awakening, it would not be because she wishes it. There must be something that is preventing her. I will meld with Michael Burnham and access her innermost thoughts.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“We will closely monitor you and if it starts to go south, we’ll cut off the meld,” Pollard warned. And Spock nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________"Stay here Commander," Pike said turning to Saru. "We might require an extra pair of hands."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Spock bent over, pressing his fingers to Michael’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“My mind, to your mind,” Michael did not even much as flinch. “My thoughts to your thoughts. Our minds are one.” And then he was plunged into darkness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. A Pool of Tears

Bright light flooded his eyes when he opened them and he instinctively squinted. While a Vulcan had the transparent eyelids to shield their eyes from the sun, he was also half-human. And the human instinct was to squint. His gaze began to travel across the room, adjusting to his new setting. The setting of this memory -- Michael’s memory. He was no longer in sickbay with it’s cold and sterile lights but in a kitchen of predominantly black and white. A more warm glow emanated from different light sources. The scent of cooked food wafted up his nose.

“Mom, dinner!”

His head lowered and he found himself staring at a little girl, who was bouncing with excitement, PADD in hand.

“Did you know that a supernova goes off every second in our universe?” She read off her PADD excitedly. “And releases more energy in a few seconds than our sun will in 10 billion years?!”

And Spock felt his blood drain away from his face.

“I didn’t,” The man -- Michael’s assumed biological father -- at the counter amended, smiling still.

“Will the Alpha Lupi supernova go off soon?” The young Michael asked as a woman stepped into the kitchen, her mother if the resemblance between her and the daughter were any indication. “Three days feels like forever!”

“The universe has its own way of telling time, Baby Girl.” She replied in place of her father.

“You were almost late for dinner!”

“We’ll forgive her,” Mike Burnham replied, smiling at his wife.

“Very generous,” She replied. And then the husband turned to his wife.

“Is the crystal stable?” Michael’s black curls bounced as she skipped over the telescope positioned at a window. “How’d your calculations turn out?”  
Michael did not appear to be listening but Spock was. Crystal……? What could they have possibly been referring to?

“I’ll have more than enough energy for the initial trials.”

“Then we should celebrate.”

“Yes, we should.”

And then, they both turned to the little girl peering through the telescope.

“Michael’s so fascinated by the supernova,” Mike said. “Peas in a pod. I’m done for by the time she’s 12.”

“You and me both!” Her mother laughed and then turned to Michael. “Come to the table, baby.”

“Uh, mom?” Michael’s voice had dropped the excitement that it held only seconds ago. “There’s a new light in the sky.”

“It’s probably just a meteor, honey.”

“But it looks like it’s landing.”

As if providing celestial punctuation, the entire kitchen began to shake. The dinner glasses clinked together as a hot white light flooded through the kitchen windows. The engine of what was undeniably a Klingon vessel sent rippling vibrations through their walls.

“Go go go!” Mike shouted. “Hide Michael! And secure the lab! I’ll by us some time!” And, as if his family needed extra “encouragement” he screamed “Go!” once again. He pulled out a basic phaser and loaded it, positioning it at their door, the presumed entrance of their house.

“Dad!” Michael screamed.

There was no doubt in Spock’s mind that the young Michael Burnham would run into danger to be at her loved one’s side but her mother grabbed her arms and began to steer her to an empty pantry of white wood. Spock ran beside her, at the mouth of the pantry.

“I need you to be brave. Stay in here and don’t make a sound.”

And, to provide her with what comfort she could in such a situation, grabbed a stuffed rabbit situated on a white chair and shoved it into her daughter’s hands. She grabbed Michael’s face and directed her gaze to meet with hers. A strange coincidence all things considering....

“It’s going to be okay.”

“Mommy?” Michael’s voice was high with panic and unshed tears.

“I love you, baby girl.” She said as only a mother could who knew she was speaking her final words to her daughter. And then, the outside consul was pressed and the door was shut has as the Klingons stuck down the door.

Michael clutched the rabbit to her chest and then pressed it to her mouth. What was undeniably the sound of a bat'leth piercing soft flesh penetrated his eardrums. A horrid scream mingled with Klingon cheers. Michael was evidently hyperventilating, but she kept her mother’s orders. She was silent, even of what was the sound of...of her mother…

Michael’s tears bounced off the slivers of light that shone through the pantry panels. The rabbit had now made it into her mouth, providing a make-shift gag but somehow, by the grace of a higher power, no sound emanated from her. His hand reached to touch her but had fell through her. A mirage. She was a memory. A terrible memory. 

If there were any other sounds, the Klingon cheers overpowered them. Spock could hear them clap each other on the back, congratulating each other on an honourable victory. As if murdering a family of scientists would have anything to do with honour, he found himself thinking darkly.

A victory battle song, he recognized. A battle song for murdering a mother and father in front of their child. This was followed by cheers and the clinking of glasses followed by the sound of what was supposed to be their dinner being scarfed down their throats. Spock winced as the shattering of plates being thrown against the ground pierced his eardrums and he could swear one was complaining about the lack of bloodwine. The noise seemingly blurred together and then silence. 

They were gone. As if they had never came to the house. But Michael did not move, containing herself to the pantry and into the ball she had curled herself in. Still, he could not hear a sound. 

What seemed to be hours later, several light steps could be heard approaching the threshold of the ruined house. They did not sound Klingon but -- 

“Michael is not here!” A voice announced. “Search the property!”

Not fifteen seconds after those words were spoken, the pantry door was thrown open and, much to his own surprise, a Vulcan woman stood, looking dishevelled. A survivor. Klingons had attacked her and presumably, she, at the very least, managed to fight them off. The Vulcan said nothing but had bent over and in one motion, gathered Michael into her arms and picked her up. 

“Do not look, Michael Burnham,” The woman ordered. But the young Michael did not listen. She instead turned her head, before the Vulcan woman planted her hand in the back of her head and pressed it to her shoulder. But it was not before Michael saw a motionless hand in a puddle of blood that stained the white floor red. 

Spock stepped out of the pantry and into a spacely decorated room -- an office -- with a desk. A monitor facing away from him. He was sitting, he realized. He turned his head to his left and, there, Michael sat. She was devoid of all the excitement and energy she held as she enthusiastically delivered facts of a supernova in rapid succession, instead, held an impassive expression as she blankly stared at her folded hands on her lap. It also did not miss Spock’s notice that she was wearing the same dress as that dreaded night.

“The Ambassador Sarek and his wife filed for custody of you.” The man -- a Vulcan man -- at the desk said, leaning slightly forward. Michael’s hair was no longer bounded back but had curtained her face. Spock briefly wondered if the man could even see her face.

“Do you know who Ambassador Sarek is?” He asked when silence was the answer to his previous statement. Again, silence.

“He is the Vulcan ambassador to Earth. He is a renowned Vulcan expert in human behaviour. His wife is a human woman.”

Vulcans did not show emotion but Spock was almost certain that the man was starting to get uncomfortable at the eerie silence from the child -- a human child -- who was presumed to be anything but.

“They have a half-human child but I am uncertain of his name,” He elaborated. “One of the first human and Vulcan hybrids to exist.”

If Michael was intrigued by this statement, she did not exhibit it. Logically, a Vulcan and a Vulcan-acting human was desired for cross-cultural communication, but if this interaction between this Vulcan man and human girl was any indication, it only served to make the Vulcan uncomfortable. The only thing that made a Vulcan more uncomfortable than typical human reaction was atypical human reaction. The sound of the doorbell resonated through the office. 

“Come in.” The man said, a bit too quickly.

A woman stepped in through the parting mechanical doors, robes brushing against the floor.

“Sir, Ambassador Sarek is here to pick up the child.”

The man nodded his head and turned back to Michael.”

“Are you ready?”

Michael slowly raised her head and blinked mechanically before picking herself out of her chair and trailed after him. Outside, his father stood, chatting with the woman in low tones in Vulcan. His head turned and alighted on the little girl peeking from behind the man. Spock could feel his face colour.

“Michael Burnham,” He stated as she took a few steps before her. Michael instinctively shrunk back. Sarek stopped.

“Are you ready to depart?”

Spock did not know if his father expected a reply but it wasn’t as if refusing to answer deterred Sarek in any way.

“She has not spoken a word since she arrived,” The woman told him in Vulcan.

“It matters not,” He replied, this time, in Standard before glancing about. 

“Does she have a bag?”

“Here,” The woman said handing him a small backpack.

“Come along Michael,” He said, looking at the girl. “It is time to meet the family.”

It was like she as being controlled by an inexperienced puppet master, Spock noted as she dragged her feet and gaze firmly directed to the floor. He directed Michael to sit in the passenger’s seat of the small hover-vehicle while he placed the bag in the back seat. Spock lightly placed himself in the back seat. Michael blankly obeyed Sarek’s order to put on the seatbelt before taking off in the direction of the S’chn T’gai house. His father did not attempt to make conversation with Michael, both taking in the brief journey in silence. The drive did provoke a reaction allowing herself to look around at the Vulcan scenery and blinking at the red sky. The hover vehicle eventually alighted outside of the gates of his home and Sarek parked the vehicle as Michael lifted her arms to unbuckle the seatbelt. Her arms seemed heavy, as if bounded by lead. He reached to pick up her bag of few possessions and waited for her to step out of the hover-vehicle. 

“Vulcans atmosphere is thinner and the gravity is heavier. It will take some time for your body to adjust.”

Michael sluggishly nodded and walked beside him towards the entrance of the house. The door was pushed open at their entrance and Spock stopped. The woman who was supposed to be their mother stood at the door as he had watched her do so as a child, albeit from a different perspective. But it wasn’t their mother; it was Michael. She was dressed in the robes that Amanda had worn that day -- making direct eye contact with him. He swallowed as she walked swiftly towards him. He instinctively took a few steps back when she phased through their father and the smaller version of herself.

“Get out!” She demanded.

“Michael --!!!” He spluttered in surprise.

“Get out!!!” Her voice vibrated through his ear canal and he took a step back

And before he could react, her hand squeezed his shoulder and he felt his eyes roll in the back of his head as he fell into a sudden materializing hole.  
~~  
“Is there anything in particular that we’re supposed to be seeing?” Pike eventually asked after ten minutes of silence.

“Vitals are good,” Pollard informed. “We can assume that Lieutenant Spock successfully infiltrated her mind and is going about pulling her consciousness back to the surface.”

“There’s also a chance that the Lieutenant may take on some of her emotions and her mannerisms during the course of the mindmeld,” Saru supplied. Pike blinked while Pollard cocked an eyebrow. “Thank you for your input, Doctor.” And Pike disguised a snort as a cough.

“I was simply explaining that there is a chance he may speak but it’s not necessarily going to be his own words.”

“Your assistance will be noted Commander,” Pike said, still smiling. The smile quickly dropped as his head jerked as the alarm from the tricorder in Pollard’s hand began to sound.

“Doctor,” He said, voice rising.

“His heart rate is going up as is his adrenal levels!”

Pike turned back to Spock, whose face contorted in obvious discomfort. Sweat beaded his brow. Pike grabbed his Lieutenant’s shoulders. 

“Spock, can you hear me?! Spock!”

“He can’t hear you!” Pollard stated, grabbing a hypospray. Spock began breathing in quick bursts. 

“I’m ending this now!” She announced but before she could apply the hypospray to his neck, Spock’s eyes shot open and, gasping, he fell and away from Michael. He would have almost certainly become a concussion patient had Pike not been there to catch him.

“Hey, hey, hey easy,” Pike said softly while he supported the majority of Spock's weight. “I’ve got you,”  
Spock’s brown eyes were wide as he attempted to steady himself. 

“Her mind has erected defences,” He said in a sort of whisper. “She won’t allow me to enter into it.” He looked up at Pike. “I must be allowed another attempt.”

“Not now, you’re not,” Pollard said. “Your adrenaline levels, amongst other things are far too high. If you were to attempt this again, there is no guarantee that we would be able to do anything to prevent long-term damage at the very least.”

“That does not matter,” He said, shrugging himself from Pike’s grip. “I need to re-establish contact with her consciousness.”

“And you will,” Pike said steadily, glancing at Pollard’s severe expression. “Right after you have properly recovered.”

Spock looked like he was about the formulate a retort and Pike spoke again.

“Stand down Lieutenant, that’s an order.”

Spock’s jaw clamped shut as he pulled himself to his feet. He shrugged off Commander Saru’s attempts to help steady him and briskly left sickbay. Pike shared an expression with Doctor Pollard before releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He turned to the woman on the bed and reached for her arm. 

“Please come back to us Commander,” He eventually said. “We all need you.”

He released his arm and rubbed his fingers together. Pike couldn’t have said but he swore that there was a slight sheen of sweat coated her arm.

~~

Michael was not used to any ship being this quiet. Perhaps it was a childish way to compare it but it was she was a child in a haunted house of the human “ghost story”. She found herself smiling at her own comparison in spite of herself. Save for the anxiousness that had implanted itself at the base of her stomach, a strange sensation of peace had accompanied it. She had always enjoyed wandering ships at night, especially those first few weeks when she was on Discovery. Most, save the night crew, were asleep, and she found herself free from their damning eyes. It was the closest way to get any sort of feeling that could be slightly compared to relief.  
The lights were on and Michael supposed she should have been grateful that she was not forced to feel her way through unlit corridors. But she was still left without answers of the sudden absence of Discovery’s crew or why the technology seemed to have developed sentience of its own. She was briefly wondering if the food replicators were functioning when the lights suddenly flickered. Michael raised her head, looking in all directions.  
“Intruder alert!” The ship’s computer announced.  
“Computer, who is the intruder?”  
No reply and Michael huffed in agitation before bolting towards the nearest panel. Her fingers flew over the surface of the screen.  
“Computer confirm crew roscher.”'

“Commander Burnham, Michael,” 

Finally, she was getting cooperation of sorts. But it still left her feeling confused. How could she be the only crew member.

“Computer confirm biosigns.”

“The only biosign on the ship is Commander Michael Burnham.”

“Then who is the intruder?”

The computer did not answer in inquiry but rather, repeated “Intruder alert.”

“How can there be an intruder if I am the only one on board!”

“Unable to comply.”

“I was asking rhetorically,” She replied peevishly. 

The corridor as suddenly filled with blinking red lights followed by the red alert alarm.

“Computer why is there a red alert?”

“Intruder alert.”

The lights flickered once more and a pain, much like the one she experienced on Talos IV consumed her brain and she gasped. Images of her memories began to flicker before and she wondered if the intruder was a non-corporeal being.

“Michael,” A voice -- a familiar voice resonated through the metal walls. “Michael!”

She covered her ears and turned to see a wispy figure materialized in front of her. Who were they?! Were they the ones responsible for the absence of her crew?! 

“Get out!” She found herself screaming at the wisp. “Get out!!!”

~~

Spock spent the rest of the day wandering aimlessly around the corridors of Discovery. Originally, he had tried to occupy himself in Engineering with odd jobs given to him by Lieutenant Stamets but the man, seemingly dealing with issues of his own, was in no mood for the pacing of feet. He was expelled almost as soon as he came in. It occurred to him, that he did not know the crew of Discovery save for the few members of the Enterprise. He had heard that Lieutenant Connolly had been amongst them but had been killed in an accident involving asteroids and a shuttle. While it was always a tragic ordeal to lose a Starfleet officer, Spock found himself admitting that personally, he did not care much for the man. But he was Vulcan and Vulcans did not “dislike”. But still…

He shook his head. It was illogical for Michael’s memories to trigger such a reaction from him. He knew of her past and he was aware of the circumstances surrounding her appearance in the S’chn T’gai household. It was different though. He knew it was different. He was with her in that pantry watching her stifle her own sobs with a stuffed rabbit and listening to the Klingon murder her parents in surround sound. And then there was the sister that he stood before and regarded coolly on Talos IV this time only a few days ago. How she charged towards him and demanding -- shouting -- that he get out. Frustrating still, he was forbidden from melding with her. He found himself wandering back to sickbay. It was empty save for the biobed that contained Michael Burnham. She was alone, save for the nurse who hovered at her bedside, presumably taking and updating her readings. When she noticed Spock, she delivered a brief smile before returning her attention back to the medical tricorder in her hand. He felt himself being drawn to Michael side. She was still as always, looking as if she was in a deep sleep. Michael’s memories were playing before his mind’s eye again and the sheer emotion flooded him again overwhelmed him. Whatever she was experiencing inside of her mind, it was his duty to draw her out and bring her back to the world of consciousness.

He waited until the nurse was finished doing her rounds and checking Michael Burnham’s vitals and when he was sure her back was turned, he approached her bedside and pressed his fingers against her face. He only allowed himself to vaguely think of the consequences before he recited those lines once more.  
“My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.”

~~

Pike couldn’t exactly say he knew it was like to engage in a mindmeld. Then again, he hadn’t exactly been conscious during the supposed times that Spock was forced to perform a mindmeld on him but from what he could recall, it was like his life was literally flashing before his eyes. He briefly allowed himself to wonder what Spock had experienced inside of her mind that provoked such a physical reaction. 

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t really been able to get much sleep since he had become the temporary Captain of the U.S.S Discovery, surviving off of what was replicated coffee and the steady stream of adrenaline provided by jumping from one shitshow to another. He really needed a good night’s worth of sleep. Perhaps Doctor Pollard might have something to help…

“Doctor Pollard to Captain Pike.

Aaaaahhhh, perfect timing. He pressed the button on the comm.

“Doctor, I was just about to call you -- ”

“Lieutenant Spock just initiated a mindmeld.”

Pike blinked.

“He what.”

“The Lieutenant has initiated another mindmeld.”

Pollard was speaking in that monotonous tone of hers that indicated that she was more than a bit frustrated with the current situation. Pike found himself the lapse of control and muttered a few choice words before hauling himself to his feet. 

“I’ll be down there in a few minutes, doctor."

Pike arrived finding Spock hunched over his commander, eyes closed and fingers pressed against her facial points in the characteristic mindmeld. He did…!

“We’re doing everything we can,” Pollard informed the moment he entered into sickbay. “We cannot break it without risk of damage to both of them. The only thing we can really do at this point is hope that Spock does not do anything to put himself or Michael at risk.”

And Pike cursed. What else could he do? He pulled up a chair available at Michael’s bedside and sat heavily on it, too exhausted to move.


	5. Out of the Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An extra hand is needed to break a meld.

She was alone in the Jefferies tubes, trying to solve a problem that, according to the scans, didn’t exist. Michael huffed, pulling her sleeve across her forehead as she focused on recalibrating the tricorder. Well, trying to recalibrate the tricorder might have been a more accurate statement. That implied that the tricorder was functional, which it was not. None of the technology was working the way it was supposed to be working. 

An error tone played, and in an act of frustration, she slammed the tricorder against the ship. A rumble suddenly resounded through the ship and she glanced at her tricorder in disbelief. There was another tremor. More potent than the last, she noted as she crawled her way out of the Jefferies tube just in time for a third one knocked off-balance with a sudden tilt. She stumbled to the other end of the corridor, grasping at the metallic walls as best as she could and turned down the one which (theoretically) should lead her to the bridge. She paused as she watched the corridor melt into that of another. Michael blinked.

“Michael…”

She snapped her head back down the corridor. Was she hallucinating or…

“Michael!”

She inhaled sharply, fumbling with the zipper of her uniform and yanked it down as her breath was caught in her throat. Somewhere halfway down, the zipper became jammed. 

“W-who are you…?” she choked out. 

A silhouette began to materialize before her and she instinctively took a few steps back. Her chest tightened still and she could feel the coughs scrape her way up her throat. 

The form began to solidify ever so slightly and she squinted that the figure. It almost looked like…

“Sarlah etek na' du, ko-fu.” 

And the figure began to disperse in front of her as her vision began to darken around the edges. Instinctively, she reached for the fading figure as the words echoed in the back of her mind.

_We come for you, daughter _.__

__~~_ _

__He was left with only the company of the steel door and his own thoughts. A guard was always there, a shadow visible from under the door, but they were never up for conversation. Or perhaps they were. Just not with a prisoner. Ash Tyler groaned. Sometimes he had to make a sound to remind himself that other sounds could be made. He supposed there was something to be said for being confined to quarters and not stuck in the brig. He supposed that was something to be grateful for. He threw himself on his side, his back facing the door. No need to be reminded of what it looked like. He could count the points on the grid again another time. He’d be sure to give Captain Pike a thorough report of it when he got out. _If _he got out, he mentally corrected himself.___ _

____The evidence was incriminating, he admitted, and being a part of Section 31 did not help matters in his favour. Still though, it did not stop the resentment rising from the pit of his stomach and settling into his chest. After he had risked his life to save the Captain’s -- he was being treated with such --_ _ _ _

____“Yes you may, but make it quick."_ _ _ _

____Ash Tyler shot to a sitting position when the doors of his room hissed open. Michael, he thought hopefully, but Ensign Tilly’s red hair preceded her. His disappointment was short-lived at actually being able to talk with someone. Ash jumped to his feet. Her expression was more than enough to tell that something was very, very wrong._ _ _ _

____“What happened, Tilly?” he asked, keeping his voice low._ _ _ _

____“Something bad happened to Michael,” she replied in an equally low tone. “Something on the telepathic planet.”_ _ _ _

____Talos IV, Ash Tyler knew. It would be out of Federation bounds although the Section 31 ship had skirted the boundary once a couple of months back. Captain Leland had casually recounted Pike’s encounter with the aliens as if it were nothing but a story._ _ _ _

____“What happened?” Ash chose to say instead._ _ _ _

____“Michael,” she visibly swallowed. Pale eyes swam with unshed tears. “She got hurt.”_ _ _ _

____Well _that _certainly got his attention, if she already didn’t have it to begin in the first place.___ _ _ _

______“How bad?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It wasn’t becoming of an officer, Starfleet or otherwise, to sound so desperate, but that was beyond his concern at the moment. Tilly just shook her head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“She won’t wake up.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He could now clearly see two distinct streaks of tears._ _ _ _ _ _

______“They’ve done everything they could, but she won’t wake up.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______There was something else, he realized. Something else that Tilly desperately wanted to say but wouldn’t. Or couldn’t?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Tilly?” he pressed._ _ _ _ _ _

______She was staring at him now and he instinctively stepped back. She was angry._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Her brother,” she said, voice wavering. “He did something. Something to her.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“How do you know?” he asked tentatively. He had never seen the normally bubbly Ensign Tilly this angry, and he wasn’t about to be on the receiving end of it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“She’s been so...deflated since this all began. Since we began trying to locate Lieutenant Spock. She rarely smiled and it seemed she was always preparing for a fight.” She took a breath. “And then she finds him and she’s the one that comes back in a coma.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash slowly nodded._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I don’t trust him,” she concluded. “He did something to her and he’s not sharing.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“If you’re looking for information,” he said eventually. “I’m afraid I don’t know anything beyond what’s been made available. Neither Captain Leland nor Georgiou were forthcoming on a lot of information regarding him.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What about his medical file?” she asked desperately. “Would the residue of his medical file be still in the systems?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Tyler cocked his head to the side._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Her...adopted mother was here some weeks back," Tilly elaborated. “Back when we were still trying to find Lieutenant Spock. With his medical file. To try and locate him.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Tilly’s eyes narrowed as if recalling some other event but decided against saying anything._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I was wondering,” her voice dropped further. “If there’s,” she jerked her head to the side. “If there’s a special code to retrieve the residue of such data.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The door hissed as it parted and Tilly turned slightly. From over her shoulder, Tyler could see the guard eyeing them suspiciously. Somehow, some way, he had to end this and end this fast._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I haven’t had a burrito in a while,” he said. “Ask the captain if it would be alright to bring me one,”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Come on Tilly, he thought. Understand me._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I will ask him,” she said eventually, although it was unclear if she understood or not._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll see you at dinner then.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Tilly cast him one more uncertain glance over her shoulder before she disappeared back in the dark. The guard was still glaring at him._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The Meld_ _ _ _ _ _

______Amanda took over -- this time it was Amanda -- drawing Michael inside and up the stairs of the house. Sarek had slipped past them, clearly avoiding the more…emotional interactions that humans were prone to His younger self wasn’t there._ _ _ _ _ _

______“My name’s Amanda,” She had said in her soft, comforting tones, trying to make eye contact through the bowed head and the thick curtain of curls. Comforting, but cautiously probing._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What’s your name?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Spock suddenly found it odd that Amanda would be asking Michael something that she would have (or should have) already known. It was probably a way to get her to introduce herself, Spock concluded._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Michael,” the girl replied, her first real word. Her voice cracked in the inside of her throat. Amanda, had reached for her hand -- which she had snatched away and held behind her back. Amanda’s hand hung in mid-air for a second, before neatly folding in between them._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I bless you, Michael,” she said as the little girl glowered at her. “All of my life.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Little good that did, Spock found himself sarcastically thinking. About his mother, no less. It…surprised him._ _ _ _ _ _

______Michael’s head had lifted and Amanda’s gaze followed her’s. He could see his father peering up as well. His own dark head was peering down at them, specifically, at the girl who infiltrated his household. His new sister._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do you want to meet our son?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Amanda’s gaze fell back on Michael and for the first time since the raid, her lips curled upwards ever-so-slightly and she bobbed her head. Amanda beamed and began to lead Michael up the stairs and Michael cautiously followed her. He turned and Sarek was staring right at him. He could feel his breath catch in his throat as his father’s piercing eyes rested on him but was convinced it was nothing but his own imaging as he followed Michael and Amanda up the stairs. Spock trailed after. Halfway up the steps, Amanda reached for Michael’s hand again and while hesitant, Michael accepted and allowed Amanda’s fingers to lace with hers. Michael met Amanda’s smile with a wary one of her own._ _ _ _ _ _

______Their mother was the one to push open the door but it was Michael’s head that was the first to peak into his room. He saw himself sitting at his desk as he drew on the PADD that had been a gift to him for his last birthday._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Spock,” his father said. He watched himself as he continued drawing and Michael eyed his back with increasing curiosity._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Spock,” his father called again, louder. More demanding. Even he found himself turning his head with his younger counterpart. “This is Michael Burnham. She’ll be staying with us. You’ll be teaching her the ways of Vulcan. I expect you to be friends.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______There were no “friends” on Vulcan; not in the human sense at least. Just acquaintances._ _ _ _ _ _

______He got up and put his pen down on its port and his hand began to pull his drawings out of the PADD. Flinging them in empty air above him, a Vulcan sandworm, a _tcha'be'she _materialized and slithered. It opened its mouth of many teeth and roared the roar that if he was quiet at night, he could hear from his bedroom late at night. That incident was never spoken of again so only he knew his own true reasons for it. The _tcha'be'she _, one of Vulcan’s most vicious predators, used to scare children of the days before Surak into compliance. And he had an idea to scare the newcomer. His anger, his rage of getting a new sister which he did not ask for, was projected into the creature and used to express exactly how he felt._____ _ _ _ _ _

__________It did not have the desired effect._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Spock was mildly hoping she would have cowered. Maybe scream. But she didn’t. It was not something she was expecting but she regarded the gnashing beast as a curiosity; something to be in awe of. He was extraordinarily fortunate it did not go the way his little self had planned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It was strange to see himself walk through the holographic image of the sandworm as regal as any Vulcan child was expected to be at that age. Michael mechanically stuck her hand out in his direction._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hello,” She greeted. What else could she say? Her voice was still raspy from its lack of usage over the past few days. Or weeks. Amanda regarded him hopefully and he had reached out. Not to shake her hand though. And Spock winced as the door clicked loudly as it was swung shut._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ShiKahr_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As the result of evolving on a desert planet, the Vulcans were perfectly adapted to the arid environment, having evolved useful features such as double-lidded eyes and internal cooling mechanism. The latter allowed Vulcans to adjust their body temperatures within a certain margin of error. Due to the scarcity of needed substances such as food and water, the average Vulcan could survive weeks without necessities that would do a human in if they were lacking them in only days. This was a fact that Amanda had to remind herself although Sarek’s recent heart attack was not the perfect opportunity to exhibit these qualities. But there was nothing that Amanda could do to break him out of meditation as deep as this -- well, if you could really call it a meditation. It wasn’t _tokmar _. _Tokmar _was what he attempted to do to bring Spock back when he was lost for those weeks. What Sarek was trying to do was to communicate with their daughter._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Their Michael._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Amanda wandered to the kitchen to prepare herself a cup of tea. Sarek was adamant that the unexpected damage to his heart was caused by something that had happened to Michael and, in turn, his _katra _. Amanda was praying that Michael was just busy. That she was just unable to speak with them and that she would get back to them as soon as she could. But she knew. And Sarek knew.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________The water was boiling and she listlessly poured it in a cup before fishing for freshly replicated jasmine leaves. Maybe she could try calling Discovery again. Try and wrestle more information from their son on what exactly had been happening since his apparent recovery. And maybe they themselves could go to Discovery...if there was something terrible happening, then Sarek would be the more logical choice to help Michael. She turned and nearly dropped her cup. There, at the mouth of the kitchen, Sarek stood, posture bent and with perspiration beading his brow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Spock,” he said, just above a whisper. Amanda placed the cup on the counter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Spock?! Is something the matter with him?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“He’s inside of her mind. He’s the foreign presence I’ve been sensing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Inside --? Through a mindmeld?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“We need to draw closer,” Sarek said, straightening his back, albeit trembling slightly. “We need to get to _Discovery _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Amanda had tried to distract Michael with her new bedroom, but the girl had retreated back into her silence. Eventually, Amanda stated that she was going to prepare dinner and to just call her or Sarek if she needed anything. Michael did not respond. Spock watched as Michael circled her strange new bedroom, only allowing her fingers to lightly brush against the walls, the fabric and the foreign wood of her new bed. The shelf in her room had been filled with a few books. Spock recognized one being _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland _. She reached for one but had jumped when the door opened and bolted towards the closet and very nearly slammed the door shut. He didn’t need to turn to see who it was.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Curiosity had overridden his anger as it often did with children who were confronted with a new situation and he recalled eventually wandering from his room to what was formerly known as the guest room for the odd time they did have company. Sure enough, his head had poked through the door and he watched himself glance about at the empty room. In spite of everything, he had pushed the door further and he took a couple of steps further. Her bag was on the bed, unpacked. Somehow done in between her arrival and their first encounter. Even at that age, Spock noticed how small it was. A small white rabbit was neatly placed at the foot of the bed. A strange addition to a house that prided itself in its minimalism._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________From inside the closet, Michael was breathing heavily. He could hear it and so could his younger self. The young Spock had cocked his head to the side and crossed the room towards the closet. Ragged uneven breathes could be heard through the panes. He had opened the closet door and Michael gasped at the sudden flood red light and curled into herself tighter than he could imagine was possible. Her head was tucked between her knees and her arms were over her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Please don’t…” she whispered -- pleaded -- in Standard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Come on,” his younger self said eventually . “Mother says it is time for dinner.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Slowly, she uncurled herself and peered meekly at him. He hadn’t noticed it before but the closet had several Michael-sized robes. Apparently one or both of his parents had taken it upon themselves to provide a few Vulcan-style outfits for her. If only other...assistances were extended towards her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________We have done you such a disservice, sister, _he thought as his younger self reached down and curled his fingers around her wrist. She allowed herself to be tugged to her feet and followed her new brother out of the door and towards the main staircase. His father nodded and Amanda was grinning from ear-to-ear, not unlike the image of the Cheshire Cat his mind provided. Spock simply regarded the family of four from on top of the bannister. Amanda’s hand ran against Spock’s head and rested on Michael’s shoulder before leading them to the table. But Sarek did not move. Spock, from on top of the bannister watched as his father’s eyes locked on him and did not move.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Spock.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________His eyes shot open and for a split second, he thought himself floating but was cushioned and pulled upright. It took several seconds to realize where he was and what he did. His gaze followed the yellow-clad arms up to the visibly angry face of Captain Pike. To coin a human phrase he had heard often enough but never used himself, he was fucked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“He’ll be alright Captain,” Doctor Pollard before turning to Spock himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I hope you realize how lucky you are,” she said in the tone of someone who was not angry with you but disappointed. Spock tried to steady himself but it was like a phaser blast to his skull. He winced. “After at least five day’s rest in sickbay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Well, that was impossible. There was so much at stake. With Michael’s mind in such a state of damage, the way that he was struggling to penetrate it…._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Michael is…” he hissed in pain._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Her vitals are steady,” Pollard said. “Although thanks to your little expedition, it might have considerably weakened your ability.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“We cannot let her dwell in her mind or else she will die!” Spock was fighting the urgency with neutrality. A heavy blanket of silence draped over them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Clearly we’ll have to think of an alternate solution,” Pike said eventually. “But you are to remain here and recover, do you understand Lieutenant?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________And Pike left before any reply could be made._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He was only vaguely aware of what was happening. He had tried his best to keep up on what was happening since his...return...but that was proving to be more difficult in practice than it was in theory. His last memory...his last real memory before the…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Well, he was in sickbay and while he was well on his way to becoming reinstated as a medical personnel, which, if the rumours were any indication, was impeccable timing. Even in spite of his gloomy detachment to what he considered his previous life, it was almost...foreign without having Michael Burnham there. She was a part of the ship almost as Paul was a part of his life. But now, she was in a telepathically-induced coma on a biobed. And her brother whom, apparently the majority of their time was spent searching for, was on the ship. A lonely ghost wandering up and down the corridors, haunting the crew with the reminder of what was at stake should their mission fail._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He wandered into the mess-hall and Lieutenant Reeves waved him over. It was all good, he convinced himself; getting new friends and re-establishing a new life that he could develop new attachments to instead of lingering mirages of his life with Paul all over _Discovery _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He turned towards the table and Reeves indicated towards a chair, which he eagerly took._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Did you hear!” Reeves hissed almost as soon as Culber got within hearing range._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Hear what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“About Commander Burnham,” They elaborated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“What about her?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“She’s in a coma.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“A coma?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Yes, he had heard something about that. He’d have to ask Pollard about the details if she’d allow it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Apparently, it has something to do with her brother.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Her brother?” He parrotted. He was aware of people looking for Pike’s Vulcan Lieutenant but he never thought --_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Yes, Lieutenant Spock,” Reeves supplied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Culber nodded as he tried to conjure the face of said Lieutenant in his memory; nothing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Anyways, word is he’s been doing some Vulcan shit to get her to wake up,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“A Vulcan mind-meld I presume,” he said. Reeves and a few others whose names he could not quite remember gave him a strange expression._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“It’s a procedure,” he elaborated. “In which a Vulcan can establish a telepathic bond with someone by touching certain points to their face. Most can’t establish a telepathic link on their own.” Except apparently for Lieutenant Spock._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“But Michael Burnham is human,” Lieutenant Greggs said. “.....Isn’t she?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“She is,” Culber said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“But how is Spock her brother then? Isn’t he Vulcan?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Half-Vulcan,” Reeves replied, taking a bite of a piece of chicken. “Could be a daughter from a previous marriage or some shit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“She’s adopted,” Culber said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Or she could be adopted,” Greggs said. And Reeves chuckled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“How do you know that?” another asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Told me once before,” he said, frowning. He was returning to his old memories._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The others seemed to understand his hesitance before suddenly changing the subject to whatever the Hell was happening in the science labs. This mind lingered back to Michael Burnham._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He wished he got a better opportunity to speak to Michael after...after…._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He swallowed. She would have understood him; coming back in a strange, supernatural way after sustaining an injury that would have almost certainly condemned both of them to death._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________It had, he reminded himself. He was at least dead for a year. That part of Michael’s medical record was excluded, assuming only those in her direct family would know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He pushed himself up from the table and Reeves and Greggs glanced up at him, brows furrowing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Something the matter?” Reeves asked. Culber only shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Nothing. I’ll see you guys later okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________They nodded in unison as Hugh stood up and put his tray away and walked out of the mess hall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Spock was not one for idleness. That was how he had risen through the ranks so quickly; the fact that time could always be used to complete something for the benefit of the ship. That and he maintained a level-head during a crisis situation. Something that he believed that all Starfleet officers should be capable of doing if they were to join a ship, but apparently that was a skill that was sorely lacking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He tossed himself on his back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The universe was at stake! There was no time for him to rest and recover as the doctors and the Captain would like. Much like was he had done, he would have to sacrifice his own well-being for the greater good if the galaxy. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. He turned to his head. Michael certainly took that saying to the very core of her being even if…even if…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The door hissed open and he turned his back to it. From the corner of his peripheral vision, he could see Doctor Pollard turn to the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Everything alright Hugh?” she said with a softness that Spock had not quite heard before today._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I’m fine,” the voice replied, almost tersely. A silence hung in between them and Spock could almost swear that Hugh had turned to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“He’s awake.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________To Spock, it sounded like more of a statement than a question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“The Captain has confined him to bed for observation due to a little...misadventure,” Pollard replied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I suppose you are used to speaking about those in the third tense because they are often not in a position to respond,” Spock said. From his peripheral vision, he could almost swear Doctor Pollard was rolling her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Good, you’re awake,” the man called “Hugh” said, stating the obvious. “I need to speak with you about something.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Spock could not imagine what, considering that he had maybe only seen the man once in passing. He nodded his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Lieutenant Spock,” Hugh said. “My name is Doctor Culber, and I am -- was --” He was quiet for a moment. “A medical officer on the U.S.S Discovery before I became…” he wondered for a moment if that little detail was redacted from official reports. “I was discharged.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Spock continued to hold his gaze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I had the opportunity to treat your sister several times before I was discharged and,” Hugh Culber glanced at Doctor Pollard. “There was an incident that might help with what you’ve been doing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Now, that piqued Spock’s interest. He had not heard of any “incident” involving Michael as of yet but considering that he and Michael had no contact for literal years…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“During the war, a ship with the Ambassador Sarek on it had exploded, resulting in him getting seriously injured.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Spock went rigid._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“We were able to track him because of a piece of Sarek’s _katra _in that was inside of her. From the meld that they --”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Sarek has not melded with Michael Burnham, much less put a piece of his _katra _inside of her.” Spock said.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Hugh just stared._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You really don’t know…?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“There is nothing to know,” Spock replied tersely. “My father did not put his katra into Michael Burnham.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Spock,” Hugh tried again. “I was her doctor. I also treated Sarek. We were the ones to access her katra to connect to him and find him. We had machines to monitor her brain activity to make sure she did not get hurt during the process.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________It almost appeared as if Spock was trying to make him disintegrate in thin air just by staring at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Spock, I am sorry you had to find out this way but it is imperative that you know about this before you continue further with this. Her soul is not the only one within her body.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________No, no, no. He refused to believe that. There was no conceivable reason...conceivable way that --  
His throat was dry when he swallowed and before he could stop himself, he was shaking his head. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Lieutenant….?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Doctor Culber’s voice was strangely distant. They were lying! They had to be! But what would they accomplish if they were….? Nothing was making any sense!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________His gaze fell to the side and, there, Michael laid. She hadn’t moved since he had been there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________No._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He could not bear to be unproductive any longer. He pushed himself off of the biobed and threw himself to Michael’s biobed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He had to see it. He had to understand. If not for her sake, then for the sake of the universe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________Show me Michael! _He found himself projecting as he pressed against the focal points on her face. Behind him, was vaguely aware of Culber was shouting at him. Spock delivered a powerful kick to his abdomen and Hugh Culber body knocked backwards and on the metal ground. _Show me your truth! _______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“My mind to your mind…” Pollard was above him with a hypospray and he was forced to partially break the connection with one hand to knock it across it the sickbay; weaker but not broken._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Another had wrapped their arms around his torso in an effort to pull him off but an elbow to his side was enough to retract his grip. Spock pressed his other hand to her focal points once again and the connection was strengthened once again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“My thoughts to your thoughts.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________And before anyone could do anything else, he was being pulled back into Michael’s mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Captain Pike was physically on the Bridge but mentally, he was in sickbay, several decks away. The two who were at the forefront of his attention were there. It was strange, almost foreign, without one of them at his side with their rapid calculations and their shared dry wit. He missed them. Both of them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________They were like each other. During the time he had worked with Michael to find her foster brother, he got to see how similar they actually were. They had the same mannerisms and identical expressions. Even the way that they pronounced words could objectively be the same. Pike briefly wondered if she could speak the language as well but had never gotten around to asking her. It wouldn’t have surprised him if she could. Perhaps Saru, with all of his languages could --_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“Captain,” he was pulled back to his place on the bridge. On the screen, he could see a dot begin to draw closer and closer. He squinted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“We’re getting readings of an approaching shuttle captain,” Owosekun, informed him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“Shuttle?” he parrotted. Yes, he was now starting to make out parts of the shuttle on the screen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“A Federation shuttle.” She elaborated. And Pike glanced around at the faces on the Bridge._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“What the Hell is a Federation shuttle doing this far out?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“They’ll be in communications range in a few minutes,” Bryce informed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“Send them a message when they get within communicating range. Ask their intentions.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________There was a silence as Bryce’s fingers moved rapidly on the panel._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“You’re on sir,” Bryce said and Pike nodded in his direction._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“This is Captain Christopher Pike of the _U.S.S Discovery _, please state your intentions,”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Captain,” a woman’s voice replied. A familiar woman’s voice. “I’d like to request visual communication!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Pike nodded at Bryce and a screen was filled with a woman with a kindly face and dark hair and a Vulcan man, who almost seemed to be her opposite with his stony expression and rigid posture. There was something in his face -- Pike couldn’t say exactly what -- that suggest that the Vulcan was --_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Captain Pike,” she greeted, smiling still._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Lady Amanda…!” he said with lack of anything else to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“And my husband, Ambassador Sarek,” she said nodding in his direction. “We request permission to dock. There is a matter of the utmost urgency we must speak to you with.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Permission granted. I’ll meet you in Shuttlebay One.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Captain Pike was out of his chair almost as soon as their faces flickered off revealing a black backdrop dotted by stars._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Commander Nhan, join me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________He was aware that the Commander was keeping up with his brisk pace through the series of corridors of the ship. At some point, a few security guards had joined them and while he knew it was policy for any Captain to see visitors have them, he did not think that either Amanda nor Sarek were there for a social call._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Captain,” Ambassador Sarek greeted the _ta’al _. Pike nodded back in acknowledgement.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“I suppose you already know why we’re here,” Amanda said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“I have a general idea,” Pike replied with a slight smile. “They’re in sickbay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Pike nodded at Nhan who then rounded to the back of them while delivering greetings of their own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Captain, do you know what is happening?” Amanda asked as she fell into stride beside him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Michael -- your daughter -- had developed a telepathic injury of sorts,” Pike informed. “She’s not waking up despite the scans indicating otherwise and your son has…” he inhaled. “Had difficulty trying to draw her out of her own mind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Sarek had tilted his head his eyes narrowed slightly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“In spite of his human heritage, Spock is one of the most gifted when it comes to Vulcan telepathic techniques. Something must be blocking him from being able to do so.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Pike couldn’t say that for sure when it came to Vulcan telepathy but he’d take Sarek’s word for it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Be that as it may, we have forbidden him from performing another mind-meld until he has recovered enough where he can do one without the fear of brain damage to either of them.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Sarek and Amanda exchanged a single apprehensive look before turning back to Pike._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“I will be the one to perform the meld,” Sarek said and Pike could almost feel his brows disappear into his hairline._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“You.” he repeated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“A part of me is in my daughter,” Sarek replied. “If anyone is able to reach through her consciousness, it will be me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Pike could not find any reply as he continued to lead them to the sickbay. What felt like an eternity later, they were in sickbay -- just in time to see Spock complete a mind-meld. Culber clumsily picked himself up, arm braced around his abdomen while Pollard was scrambling for a fallen hypospray. A nurse was massaging their jaw._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Spock!” Amanda had shouted but it was too late. Spock’s eyelids dropped over with his hands pressed to Michael’s face. Sarek wasted no time in bolting towards their children while  
Amanda’s hand covered her mouth. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“He has begun the meld,” He informed after he had pressed a hand to his son’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Amanda took her place beside her husband. Pollard and Culber, both looking a bit ragged had begun to scan both siblings. Amanda placed herself on the single chair provided while Sarek's eyes drifted shut._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Spock was back in his childhood bedroom. He could see her laughing when she was struggling to properly form the ta’al. His younger self had tilted his head as he tried to process her emotional response. He was under the impression that humans got angry or sad in the face of adversity, but she...seemed to enjoy it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“You’re amused by your own error,” he said. And Michael, with her new Vulcan cut, looked up at him and smiled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Yeah,” she replied, still laughing about it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Spock remembered, with more clarity, that she was getting better. She was behaving more like that he had thought was “more human”. She was beginning to allow herself to sink into this family. His family. Their family. She had adjusted to the routine and had even begun to adapt their dress although, with influence from Sarek or the society, he could not tell. A combination of both, perhaps._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“That is…illogical.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Why would someone laugh at their own mistake? It did not make sense to him at the time. Even now, perhaps. “Emotions confuse me.” he concluded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Me too,” Michael replied and his younger self considered her before he reached out his hand to form the _ta’al _properly. She met his hand half-way and, using his finger as a guide, situated her fingers into the _ta’al _properly for the first time. She broke into another big grin and he watched himself smile in response. He’d say it was much simpler times, but in all honesty, the times were never simple. Between fleeting moments of joy thinly coated terrible struggles that both of them were subjected to. His vision flipped and suddenly, he was at the Learning Centre. Michael’s expression was stony as she held her head high and rigid. There were whispered Vulcan being spoken around her as if she could not understand. But she could._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________She pretended not to know what they were saying and perhaps, they didn’t know she understood. But it did not make matters better, nor their behaviour acceptable. He had been on the receiving end of such remarks many times before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Human,” a boy by the name of Tarek called towards her. In Standard. “That is not your learning pit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________She did not reply as she began to sign into the pit so she could pick up where she left off the last lesson._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Human,” Tavek called again, approaching her this time. “Did you not hear me? I said that was not your learning pit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________She only stared him down momentarily before continuing her with signing in. And then Tarek made a big mistake; he had grabbed her arm. In a flash of movement, she had seized it and had thrown him on the ground before her, hand clutching his shoulder in a very clear threat that she would not hesitate to use a Vulcan nerve pinch; it wasn’t a bluff either._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Do not,” she said in very deliberate Vulcan. “Touch me ever again.” With strength that none would ever expect from a human child, she yanked him to his feet and shoved him away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Michael Burnham,” her head slowly turned to see a teacher -- a Mr Falor -- said. “You will accompany me to see the Headmaster.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Her gaze refused to leave his face as she climbed out of the pit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“You know that fighting is not permitted.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Michael made no attempt to defend herself, but rather, chose to hold his gaze definitely._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“So walk yourself down the Head Master’s office.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________She neither nodded nor shook her head nor really moved at all. She simply stared and continued to walk down familiar halls, Alone and away from the learning pits.  
Then, there was an explosion. He stood, physically unaffected as debris was flung at him -- through him-- combining with raging oranges, yellows and reds burning everything as they were flung out of windows and shattering glass. Michael was thrown forward by the blast and Spock could no longer see her. And suddenly, he was standing in the remains. It was black, save for the red sun of Vulcan shining through holes, casting an eery glow on the ground on newly shattered stone. He began to pick himself through the rubble looking around. He remembered this day. He was on the east wing with students in his age group and they had been ushered out of the building. He remembered being worried about Michael but he had listened to his teachers pulling them away from the building. He supposed that if he left, he’d see himself waiting anxiously as parents were called from their jobs to collect their kids as rescue crew picked through the rubble for bodies. Thankfully, there would be none. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________There were the indentations to indicate the presence that there was a learning pit there only a few minutes before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________A faint groan reached his head and his head snapped towards it. He was being pulled to it and against the red glow, he could see the silhouette of a body -- a girl. Closer still and he was able to make out Michael Burnham’s features through the rubble, eyes half-opened and her breathing laboured._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Michael...?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as he dropped to his knees. He began trying to push the rubble away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Michael!!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________The little girl remained still and he pressed his hand to her neck. No pulse. She was dead. Dead. Dead. His sister was dead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Michael please…” he pushed away pieces of hair, revealing a burn that had blossomed over half of her face and cuts that seemed to have decorated every inch of exposed skin. He felt like he was long ago, desperate and helpless. There were footsteps and he turned his head. There, he could see the all-too-familiar figure of this father standing alone in the rubble of the remains of the school. Spock’s eyes clung to him as he drew closer until he stopped right beside him.  
Sarek stood there and he could feel the brush of his robes against him as he knelt over Michael. He pressed his hands to his daughter’s face and closed his eyes. A mind-meld --!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“My mind to your mind,” Sarek’s words were echoing in his head. “My thoughts to your thoughts.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Sarek’s face twisted in a rare expression of agony and his breathing became all the more laboured. Michael’s eyes flipped open and she gasped in a breath that her lungs so desperately needed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Do you understand?” his head jerked up to meet Sarek’s gaze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Father…?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“You will die here if you are not careful,” He told him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Are you --”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________He pointed behind Spock and Spock’s gaze followed and his eyes promptly widened. Michael was staring back at him -- The adult Michael -- with a look that might have been confusion. He leapt to his feet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Michael are you --”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Sarek hand shot towards Spock’s face and like a hand reaching down, he was yanked back to the surface of consciousness. He gasped in the sterile air of sickbay and before he was truly aware of anything, he was in his mother’s arms with her whispering comforts into his ear. His hand raised and rested on the crook of her elbow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“You were incredibly fortunate,” he was aware of his father telling him. “I hope that next time you will not be so flippant with the way you engage with your sister’s delicate condition.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Sarek!” his mother hissed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Why are you --” Spock rasped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“We heard about Michael,” Amanda said, helping him to a sitting position. “We have come to help.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________There was a sharp gasp that attracted the attention of mother and son. Sarek was kneeling over the daughter, replacing Spock and his position. Michael was on the biobed, eyes bloodshot but -- but open…!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Amanda’s grip tightened on her son when he tried to go towards Michael._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Let your father finish the meld.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________And then he remembered the meld. And what Doctor Culber said before the meld._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Mother, Father,” He said, steadying his breathing. “When were either of you planning to tell me that Michael had passed away during the bombing at the learning centre?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________It took her a few moments to realize that she was in sickbay. She jerked to a sitting position, her last memory of passing out in an empty and morphing corridor lingering in the back of her mind. She jumped out of her bed and stumbled when her stiff legs suddenly supported her weight. How long had she been out for? She glanced at the biobed and like the first time she awoke in sickbay since this whole situation began. Her vision suddenly flipped and the familiar tightness came back when it felt like she had alighted in a dark, desolate building -- or rather what was left of it. A familiar red glow was casting through the holes of the wall. She swallowed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Her head jerked around at the sound of footsteps against crumbling stone and on stray sheets of metal. Michael’s eyes went wide and she drew back as the figure of her brother was wandering in the remains of what...well….she couldn’t tell exactly what it used to be._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Was she…was she in a memory…?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________But it didn’t make sense. Spock was not in that memory, quite especially not as an adult._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Spock…?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________But he didn’t seem to notice her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Spock what’s going on!!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Still, there was no response. And she watched as Spock suddenly stopped and knelt down. Michael drew closer and cautiously peered over his shoulder. Spock had pulled her younger self out of the remains of the rubble. She recoiled at her own lifeless body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Spock was telling her to wake up. Or rather telling her younger self to wake up. She reached to touch his shoulder but her hand phased through his shoulder. She blinked at it and then turned back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Spock, you’re looking at a memory.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________A memory he would have no knowledge of, she realized. Well, until now. Another pair of footsteps entered and, recognizing them, her head turned to meet them. Sarek was approaching they -- her -- they and Spock stepped aside and away, Sarek knelt in front of her younger self and pressed his fingers to the focal points of her face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“My mind to your mind,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________She grunted as Sarek’s words pulsated through her brain._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“My thoughts,” Michael’s voice was harmonizing with Sarek’s. Sarek’s head snapped towards her and Spock’s gaze followed his and his eyes widened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Michael!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________His voice was echoing in his mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Shut up…!” She murmured. The remains of the academy tiled. And then it was pitch black._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
